I'm going to turn my phone off..barer of bad news/people today!!

I was fine this morning, apart from having 2 unwell kiddies, so lots of cuddles today.

Then my phone rang and it was my ex..father of my oldest, who I hate with all of my heart. To cut a long story short, he's a massive disappointment to me daughter and he messes her around a lot. He hasn't rung in weeks, so you can imagine my delight when I see his number flashing on the screen.

Next phone call. Work..hate it when the number comes up, I get filled with dread every time!?..and this time I had every reason too. They were expecting me in at 12pm and where am I? SHITTT! Now I feel really bad and I'm worried I'm going to lose my job..I can't relax as I have the children unwell and clinging. Husband is not home until early hours, and he will be drunk, just what I need!!

So now I am over thinking and being ridiculous, planning out scenarios in my head. Please stopppp.

I haven't been on in a few days as things have been ok, and trying not to think about it. Hope your are all doing well xxx

[Hidden]

Oh dear LoLo

Well first ex-husbands can be a pain even though they are Ex for a reason

Sorry to hear he lets your daughter down , my daughter has the same problem with the father of her daughter & I no how much pain it causes her

The only thing I can say is what I always tell her & that is, no one can replace their dad , but with all the love from Mum & others around them it goes a long way & when it comes to hate , well I have been there , but dont anymore , as its an emotion that makes me feel bad & I soon realized , there was only me feeling it & the person i might have hated couldnt feel a thing , so I stopped it , as if I allow it , there is only me that gets hurt

I am sure they would have to warn you several times at work , before they could sack you , this is a one of , that couldnt be helped , so try & I no its not easy , not to play the script in your head , as I bet you have it all wrong & your children have to come first & they should no that & I am sure they will

Not sure why hubby now is going to come back drunk , but sounds like you could do with him there to give you a hand & him been sober

Well we are all here for you &I hope your two little ones get better soon , its that time of the year again , where all these bugs start going round grrr

Love

whywhy

xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi whwhy, your words of wisdom have helped again, thank you

You are right, I should not hate, it is only me that is bothered by it (he couldn't give 2 hoots). I shall try and get rid of this feeling as it is doing me no good. My daughter is still a little girl and her dad is everything to her, she makes excuses for him bless her, and I just agree because I don't want to spoil her vision of him. I've learnt that she will grow to see it for herself. She has all the love she needs and my husband is great with her.

I am worried with work as I am on a 3 month probation and it will go against me. They have told me that they are more than pleased with me, so I'm hoping they will overlook it.

Kiddies are a little brighter, my oldest will be back in school tomorrow! Baby is coughing a lot and clingy so we shall see how she goes.

My husband gets lots of perks with his job, and he's away today, doing sports, then getting drunk, and travelling back late tonight. I agree he should be here, but his job isn't really a normal 9-5, it kind of goes against him (sounds ridiculous, I know!). I'll survive I'm sure, I have to anyway haha.

How are you doing lovely? xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi

Well the way I learnt to stop hating is by to feel sorry for that person instead

So all the things that were unacceptable , to look at them & think , how awful it must be to be like that & how grateful that we are different , i dont no if that makes any sense

Also pity them as they are the ones that are missing out as well

I have a friend that had the same problem & their Dad was the same , yet as you say they worshipped him , i has took them to be teenagers , but I used to say , they will see him for what he is eventually & now they do , I no how much pain it causes , but just keep doing the right thing , things will turn out ok

Oh right well hubby cant be there then , i am sure when he gets back , well you make sure , he makes up for it & relax while he takes over the duties , thats more perks for him , for been a hubby & Dad

Sounds like the eldest could have picked something up from School already & then its soon passed on & I no when they are clingy there is nothing you can do , but give them hugs

I used to have one of those baby slings , think they may still do them & walk round with them strapped to me all day when they were like that , kept them quite & I still got my jobs done

I am sure as they are so pleased with you , this once they will over look it , try not to worry , even though I no its not easy

Well me , have a meds fear , bought some Multi Vitamins , read it will be good for me , took one , guess what , sat here thinking I have side effects from one vitamin ....think we need say no more on that one , I no the answer , but the anxiety wants to win over common sense as usual

xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh gosh..anxiety will always want to win hun, just keep telling yourself they wont hurt you, they can't.

Thanks for the advice, it really helps, I very much so pity him, he misses out on so much. My hubby will make up for it he will have no choice haha, he is off tomorrow and friday so I can have a break.

Take care of yourself hun xx