please i need advice :'(

hi lately i been feeling as if everything around me is just a dream, and it feels as if i cant see anything like it feels like my eyes r always closed but really there open. i try to take my son to town but i just feel as if im in a dream and cant brathe my chest gets tight it feels like theres no air :( i been to the doctors but he just told me to toughen up as im pregnant with 2nd baby, i wish i could toughen up but people who dont suffer with anxiety or panick attacks dont understand whats its like i just want to feel normal again :(

thanks for your time.

louise

xx

16 Replies

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  • Being told to 'toughen up' or 'snap out of it' isn't exactly helpful to people like us on here, but comments I'm sure we've all had thrown at us many times - I know I have!

    I can't add much more except to say you're not alone.

  • oh yeah some of my family think im a hypochondriac, :( but the feeling of this is killing me now its so hard to fight but i have my good days and my bad days thank u for your comment :) xx

  • Towards the end of my pregnancy with my daughter I had anxiety and depression. My doctor was great and put me on anti depressants assuring me that it was safe. Don't let gp tell you to toughen up, that's disgusting. There's ways of help out there for everyone. Go back, if it makes you feel a bit better ask to see a different GP..hope you feel better soon x

  • Hi Louise

    Sorry you still seem to be having a bad time & been pregnant & anxiety , I no how that feels

    Has your health visitor or midwife been no good either ?

    Louise you deserve some help , if no one is giving it to you , try a different GP in your surgery , I no its hard but dont give up , till you find one that will listen & is understanding

    ((((((((hugs))))))))

  • If a doctor told you to 'toughen up' i would suggest seeing another doctor. Next time you book an appointment ask to see someone who is better trained for mental health problems. The fact that your pregnant could be significant, i started with my mental disorder during my pregnancy. Being told to 'snap out of it' is a common reaction from non-suffers, but you should never receive it from a health care professional. There is also a real risk of you developing postnatal depression which needs to be discussed with a doctor so they can calm your worries and fears.

    What your describing is something called dissociation, your life doesn't feel real and you seem to view everything behind a screen. When you develop anxiety you become frightened or nervous about things that never even occurred to you before. Your lack of comprehension has led to the dissociation. For example, you are now afraid/nervous about travelling on a bus, but you can't understand why, ergo your brain tells you that you shouldn't and you don't and that its not really you that's afraid. Its a defence mechanism, its your brains way of separating you from what makes you anxious. Does this make sense?

    Most people naturally develop defence mechanisms for anxiety, my main one was avoidance, e.g. i was afraid to get on a bus, so i walked instead. However it developed to the point that i avoided everything and i wasn't living any more. My family had a hard time understanding my condition, so i wrote about it, i described how i felt on a daily basis and it really helped. My advice to you would be to see a doctor and talk with them properly, even if that means taking up alot of their time, its what they are there for. There are no medals for suffering in silence, not everyone understands but some people do. Please dont be put off by other peoples ignorance.

  • thank u everyone for your advice i feel so alone noone will listen to me either so its nice to no i got people on hear that will listen to my problems..

    mrssmurf 90 thank u for the paragraph yes everything in the 2nd paragraph describes how i am feeling :(

    unfortunately im not getting any help of my health visitor just yet, been to a&e already and they couldnt find nothing wrong with me im so scared the last couple of days it feels like my heart aint beating and im all lightheaded and dizzy ahh i just feel like im dying :'( can anxiety make u feel this bad or is there something seriously wrong with me??

    thanks for your time

    louise

    xxxx

  • thank u everyone for your advice i feel so alone noone will listen to me either so its nice to no i got people on hear that will listen to my problems..

    mrssmurf 90 thank u for the paragraph yes everything in the 2nd paragraph describes how i am feeling :(

    unfortunately im not getting any help of my health visitor just yet, been to a&e already and they couldnt find nothing wrong with me im so scared the last couple of days it feels like my heart aint beating and im all lightheaded and dizzy ahh i just feel like im dying :'( can anxiety make u feel this bad or is there something seriously wrong with me??

    thanks for your time

    louise

    xxxx

  • sounds like it could be de-personalization and don't worry you're not alone, there's lots of stuff out there for this condition

  • Yes, anxiety can definitely make you feel this bad. It's amazing how ignorant many doctors still are about depression and anxiety - hope you have found a better one in your practice. You could also tell your doctor you want to see someone who understands depression. In my experience a few doctors are sympathetic as they have at least read up on the symptoms. When I was going through my panic attacks (which turned out to be an entry point into depression) I was relieved to read books about panic attacks that listed my symptoms almost exactly. Breathing exercises helped me a lot (see Patrick McKeown and the Buteyko breathing method).

  • You seriously need to speak to a gp and tell them you have anxiety. If you only tell them your physical symptoms they won't automatically think of anxiety. Anxiety has the ability to raise your heartbeat but often suffers think their heart rate is through the roof when its not. Ive made myself sick before through the stress of telling myself over and over that I was ill. I strongly recommend you speaking to a professional, theres plenty of support out there you just need to find it. Try the nhs website.

  • Nhs archway centres now do self referral, they have many trained specialist for anxiety x

  • I have anxiety...Do you get chest pains and very nauseaus...i feel like my neauseated could make me pass out and then a bowel movement and then the neauseated is better...The nausea is awful

  • Hi yes I'm that bad now that my concentration has completely gone for example. If someone's speaking to me 5 mins later il completely forget wa there talkin about and iv had my second baby now n since iv had him I feel worse like when I'm talking I don't feel like I'm in my body it's hard to explain xx

  • Please reply

  • its just the hormones .how old is your 1st child?this will definitely improve

  • Hello LouiseMarie123, Hope you and your little boy are well today. How old is your little boy and what does he love to do most. Being pregnant and having to care for a little boy is a great blessing but it might also be really exhausting. Have you got help and support at home? When do you feel like in a dream? Pinpointing the time of the day where it is most likely to happen might help you grasp what is happening with your body and your mind and act on those moments. You might be low on sugar or in need of a rest because of exhaustion. Make a note of what you do, when you get up, when your little boy gets up and how you and him go about the day. You could join a group of Mums and Toddlers, Mums and Toddlers Yoga class, or mindfulness where you can share, be listen to, feel loved, feel valued and learn some exercises to deal with your feelings of tightness in the chest and vagueness others might experience too. There are loads of people out there who care. Hope this help.

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