Tough Day Today

[Mirth]

Today has been hard. I've lost count of the number of times I've had to slope off to the loo to cry. What the hell is wrong with me?? I feel like it could be my job. My head and heart hurt although, perhaps the chest pain is from the jogging last night. I feel so lonely. I just want to be fixed.

Feel like feeling like this is all my fault, because I didn't take the PhD I was offered, because I hang in there waiting for boys for too long, for thinking too much about what people might think of me. Good Lord, all I want is to be happy and feel normal. Feels like this time is lasting forever, why hasn't it left me yet...

Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment and hopefully I'll be referred to a councillor. I wish she could just tap me on the head and fix me.