Dear friends,
I've coped with anxiety and MDD for a long time. Lately though, with bad car accidents and my body physically giving up on me, it's been harder.
Every night before I go to work the next day, I can never sleep. I'm always worried about my patients the next day. The length of the daylist. The surgical procedures I'm slated to perform. Any possible complications. The insomnia is killing me slowly.
The pressure of the job; interaction with the patient is the best and worst part... to ensure the patient gets the best care possible; the surgery, the precision etc.... my doctors call me 'high functioning' because I'm good at what I do, and very respected in my field. But deep down, I'm scared.
I'm scared of what my colleagues would think of me if they were to find out that I have these issues. You guys understand the stigma that comes with MDD & anxiety. So i have to put on my sunday best, and fake a smile.
I'm just wondering how long I can do this for....
Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love my job; and my patients too. But I have to find a way to take away the pressure and anxiety so I can sleep better....
Any suggestions fellow members?