Since my friends have left school and soon going to uni i've pretty much been left behing (failed first year)
i dont want to get out of bed in the mornings or even just leave the house. The night before school i dread what the lessons are going to be like or just going to school in general.
I sit in the same place on the same computer in the commmon room and work. i cant take my mind off the fact that im exposed. this is the only place where i sorta feel hidden but i know im not. ive go nowhere to hide. i constantly have stomach cramps and feel sick because again im just exposed and id rather not be noticed and i preffer to be hidden.
because of all this im becoming more depressed and nothing interests me not even my lessons. i just seem to blank out and before i know it its the end of the day, everything feels like a blur and i just want to go home and sleep.
people have said ill make friends. but that matter is unlikely. i have made an effort in trying to talk to new people but they simple arent interested in becoming friends with me. im going to be spending the next year pretty much alone and blank.
i question why im alive sometimes.