When, What and How

[Beloved01]

When did you start experiencing anxiety or depression?What triggered it?

Do you think it ever goes away completely?

What are those things you were doing before that you find difficult to do now?

How do you cope?

[-Charlie]

Hi Beloved01

I started experiencing anxiety when I was 18.

It was triggered by a semi rational fear I developed from a sport I was competing in. Then having a bad accident in said sport that reinforced that fear. I transferred that fear (possibly subconsciously) into other aspects of my life turning the anxiety into years of frequent panic attacks.

Yes I think anxiety can and does go away with time and understanding of the root cause. Accepting it, knowing I was safe, and finding the right tools to use against my fight or flight system were what helped me the most. It took over 30 years for me to learn to stop fighting anxiety which is 80% of overcoming it.

I can do anything I want now. I do overthink and get moments of unease if I feel it rearing its ugly head. It’s a lingering habit from being on alert for so long.

I learned to cope and overcome it by accepting it, learning to stop giving it so much value, breathing techniques, therapy, and regular exercise. I used to take meds for it but no longer need them.

Everyone has a different story but that is mine. Hope it helps you. Sending you my best. x

[Beloved01 in reply to -Charlie]

30 years? I'm in shock...you summarized it in a way that makes it look as if it was an easy experience,but we know it wasn't. how did you do it??? I want the most realistic version...I think I'm in awe

[-Charlie in reply to Beloved01]

Ha! No please didn’t be in awe…it’s not like that at all really. If you believe in the Laws of Attraction I can say anxiety puts us in a low vibrational state. We operate from a place of lack. Our insecurities, fears, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. We’re not honoring our true authentic self, our higher vibrational self.

I was a People Pleasing Pill Popping Perfectionist. When I got anxious I popped a pill. I kept pumping my body with antidepressants and benzos assuming that was going to fix me. I moved away from my home state at 23, got married, had 3 kids in 6 years, and poured my soul into a career. Went to my therapist regularly. I was miserable trying to make everyone else happy. I devoted every spare second to my kids, my family, and being there for everyone’s meltdowns. No one knew I was suffering. Not really. They just thought I was overworked and overwhelmed.

A therapist recommended I go on a Dark Knight of the Soul journey. Learn what makes ME happy. You see, growing up as an athlete since I was 3, I was taught resilience, strength, keep on fighting, never give up mentality. I carried that into trying to control everything around me. Be the best right? But my best was never good enough in my mind. That was the cause of all the anxiety. Never being good enough. Someone was always doing everything better than me. I was frustrated from overthinking it all. This manifested to the point of panic.

What I finally discovered about myself on that soul journey was that I WAS good enough. I WAS okay. I just didn’t believe it for so long. I had to do some serious cutting the cord of worrying about everyone around me. I did several years of deep research into how we control our thoughts, our emotions, and learned how to train my mind to discard those thoughts and dismiss them. I had to cut people out of my life that were putting me in a negative mindset. It’s about becoming a better version of yourself. Being authentic. Saying no. Stepping into your power. If my house isn’t clean today, oh well. If I didn’t eat healthy today, oh well. There’s always tomorrow. I don’t beat myself up anymore. I protect my peace at all cost and am mindful of where and who I give my attention to. I’m far from perfect but I did learn how to control my thoughts, rid myself of panic, and do what makes me happiest. I focus on the positive now. My expectations of myself aren’t to be perfect anymore. Doing this has allowed my to breathe deep and relax. Nothing escalates to high anxiety or panic anymore. I gave up the fight against it. Anxiety and panic is an illusion we create in our mind and our fight or flight system reacts accordingly. When we control our thoughts and become optimistic, life turns around. We see how good today is and how good tomorrow will be. It’s a shame it took me so long to see that but I’m eternally grateful I finally understand it. Life is calm now. If you want more specifics just let me know. My mind is tired atm and I’m rambling. It’s hard to explain a 30 year journey in one post. 💞

[-Charlie in reply to -Charlie]

None of this 👆applies to depression, PTSD, or other mental illnesses. Only anxiety and panic attacks.

[Sunflower_13]

Hi ! I think I had my first anxiety attack when I was 15 , I still remember not being able to sleep because I kept Shivering with fear .

I was 19 when I had my first psychiatrist appointment and was started on SSRI's for depression, after that it's always been on and off , it got really worse the past 3yrs , I started questioning my existence and purpose, when I looked back I realised I was just "existing" and I never really "lived".

I'd be lying if I said I didn't have my share of happy moments, but at the end of the day , I'd end up questioning if I'm actually happy or just pretending to be happy. Around 3yrs ago when these ideas started , I suppressed them by distracting myself by being over friendly with people around me and constantly wanted to show people on social media that I was happy and doing absolutely amazing. But in reality, I think that was my biggest mistake looking back now .

I started hyperventilating and my anxiety came back whenever my distractions failed to protect me .

And everything went haywire since last 2yrs , I am preparing for this major exam thats coming up , but during this period, i couldn't rely on my distractions anymore and ended up rock bottom and finally going to the hospital to avoid taking extreme measures . I failed the exam last year and all my friends moved ahead , and now I'm here , still questioning myself, feeling guilty, angry, regretful .

I'm still feeling depressed most the days , Im anxious that I'll end up destroying my life because I may not do well in my exam again ....but you know what ? I'm a little okay this year , because I've found ways to cope . I am still searching for reasons to "live this life" and not "just exist" , but the idea that I'm able to understand my troubles and I'm ready to not just end my life , but give it a chance .

It's not easy , I know there will still be struggles, but every morning I tell myself that I choose to live another day , keeps me moving .

I still struggle, whenever I think about all the regrets I might have about not doing well in my exam . But I find it ironic how I worry about it , considering I've always wanted to quit life this past year.

For me , on my worst of the worst days , when I was on the brink , I had this singular idea of questioning myself about what I'd regret the most , if I give up . Although everything seemed useless, there's this one thing I want to do . That was to see places (travel) . Thats when I felt it'd be a waste to leave this beautiful world created by God , without being able to see atleast some of it. So I keep pushing. It sounds like a temporary coping mechanisms, but it's helped me .

Find your reason to keep going ahead , even if it's lame , it matters .

"And beyond all , seeking medical help, counseling and support is primary".

Hope this was useful although I ranted a lot.🌻

[Beloved01 in reply to Sunflower_13]

You have no idea how encouraging your words are,I think it's easier listening to someone who experienced these things and still chooses to be strong.Thank you.

[Sunflower_13 in reply to Beloved01]

To be honest , I'm really glad someone asked this question. Having a place for letting thoughts out and listening to people talk about their experiences really really helps . Makes me feel less alone .I wish the best for you . Keep moving ahead, you're doing good🌻

[Underrockbottom]

Hello, I am a new member as of yesterday. I feel like I'm hitting a pretty big low and looking for others who feel the same. I'm trying to learn how to cope. I'm 39 years old, wife and mother of 4. My anxiety started a few years ago and has only gotten worse. It started soon after I switched my girls schools and I started working at their school as a preschool para. My girls got head lice for the first time and it's been a struggle with repeated cases over the years. I was mortified, we are a clean family, never had it before and I had no idea what I was up against. I treated our family over and over, nit combing and nit combing, obsessively cleaned and did laundry and i even tried pesticides and sprayed my home. Now I have terrible health anxiety and it's turning into more of a deep depression. I don't enjoy doing absolutely anything. Everything I do feels like a distraction from worrying and anxiety. I try self help like breathing exercises, books, I exercise/walk daily, christian counseling. One of my most soothing is sitting on the shower floor with the hot water on my back and just rocking. I felt like I had a stroke/heart attack a couple years ago, not long after my symptoms started. I've had brain fog ever since. I am now convinced I had some sort of pesticide poisoning, my house is contaminated and my whole family is having breathing problems. My chest always feels heavy and I have shortness of breath. I've been to the doctors and multiple tests done, they havent found much, a heart arithmia and leaky valve that shouldn't be causing my symptoms they say. They haven't found any cause or breathing problems and think it's in my head. My doctor says it's anxiety and panic attacks. I started on buspirone around Christmas. I think it has made me feel worse, I now have uncontrollable crying episodes, depression, trembling at night, and suicidal thoughts that I never had before. I don't enjoy being around my kids or family, it seems to only bring me more anxiety and worry because I worry about their health and feel guilty or at fault. Before all this I felt like I was a normal, happy person with a great life, appreciating everything I have and living life to the fullest. Now I struggle to make it through a day with my sanity. I've developed OCD mostly cleaning, it distracts me. I can't relax or be left alone with my thoughts as it feels scary. I've been reading the Bible and pray and pray and pray. Trusting in God's plan for me this far has only given me more anxiety I think, because I haven't seen anything get any better, only worse... I try hard to trust, leave it in his hands, be led by him, but I just don't hear or feel him, I try to listen. I do have days that are better then others but I don't feel like I'm getting better or overcoming anything. I feel very alone and like I just want to be left alone most of the time. Help seems unachievable

[Beloved01 in reply to Underrockbottom]

I feel like it's more complicated than that,you might have experienced series of things which must have compiled together then triggered off by stress... I'm no doctor,but I'm used to listening to people,find a way to give yourself break time, being exposed to a lot of things you don't like simultaneously can be emotionally draining.