Letting go

[BeagleHeart]

Not sure where to start, but I do know I need help..After my parents passed away (relatively young compared to other family) and having been forced to cut ties with my older sibling over lies, theft, and physical threats I've since been more-or-less abandoned and left to deal alone by those I thought I could count on, and who have counted on me in the past.It's obvious to me now, after two years of still recovering, that the image I had of these people was entirely in my head. I don't want to obsess or dwell over what was or what could've been anymore but i'm struggling to do so.

I wish I could just stop caring about them and worrying, and just move on.

Whatever hope i had for a positive future with any of them was all in my head. No one gives a damn about anyone in my family, I've received more words of understanding from cousins and inlaws i didn't grow up around than I have those I thought were closest to me and who I held dearest.

I don't want this anger and sadness anymore, there's no room left for doubting what was done to us was both intentional and deliberately cruel.

I only ever wanted to be a positive role model for my adult nephews and niece and to have someone older and wiser to talk with and confide in.

The lesson i learned from all this is that if you have a sibling with a highly dysfunctional family; either run or distance yourself as much as possible. I spent twenty years looking the other way and hoping for the best only to be stolen from in the end and scapegoated as the source of dysfunction.

[Starrlight]

I can relate. My sister and I have no contact… she has hurt me since the beginning. After almost a year since she spoke to my dad, she calls up and I overhear her voice and I cringe. The thing that worst is I have no contact with my niece who I was close with because of my sister.

I’m sorry you are dealing with the difficult family dynamics.

[BeagleHeart in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you. Thankfully I don't have to actually deal with them anymore, they failed in their attempt to scapegoat us and that morphed into alienation just as I knew it would. These we're horrible people that have little to no remorse for the problems they cause others, they could care less that they saddled me with an anxiety disorder. They're the type to use that to further isolate those they deem a target.