Struggling with College, mental health & motivation

[porsche773]

Hi. I am in college right now, and I've been struggling with my mental health basically since I could feel my feelings. I don't have a god relationship with my parents, they were both abusive, and a lot of my friends have turned out to be fake or I just can't depend on them because I don't find them trustworthy/we're not that close. Basically I keep everything to myself, & even on my spam I never post about my feelings. I've tried therapy, but I don't have the best history with it & I just feel like it's not for me. I thought I could handle it all on my own, but I no longer think so. I'm usually pretty hard on myself so I feel like I should be able to solve all my problems regardless & it's a personal flaw if I can't. But I know deep down that I do need help and someone to talk to so I'm coming on here instead. I feel like I am so unmotivated and I lack discipline in the academic areas of my life. It's like going to the gym and cleaning my room (any tasks that I genuinely enjoy or find fun/relaxing) is easy but then I am stuck when it comes to everything else. I've been working on it, but lately it feels like no matter what I do I can only take little steps at a time and that really bothers me. I probably have ADHD, but I don't want that to be an excuse, my trauma either. I guess I'm just looking for a way to overcome these problems because I feel like I am the only one holding me back, which is true, but I don't know if I can do it on my own. I don't wanna slip back into depression but I have a really bad habit of being very critical to myself & I feel like this just makes everything worse, but I don't know how to stop it & I struggle trying to change. Does anyone else relate to this or maybe have some tips/advice?

[GreenGrass24]

Thank you for being so open—what you shared really resonated with me. First off, you're not alone in feeling this way. It takes so much strength to even recognize that something’s off and to reach out like this. You’re already taking steps, even if they feel small.

I can relate to the frustration of feeling stuck—like you should be able to push through on your own, but your brain just doesn’t work that way. That self-critical voice can be really loud, and it makes healing feel even harder. I’ve found that learning to approach myself with more compassion has helped—but it’s definitely a process, not a switchI used to think OT was just for physical rehab, but it actually supports people with ADHD and trauma, helping build personalized strategies for daily life—especially around motivation, structure, and self-kindness. If you ever want to talk more about it or just vent, I’m here. You’re not broken for needing help—and you really don’t have to do it all alone. ❤️