Struggling

[RotoCat]

Trying to make it through each day is tough. I am tired of feeling anxious and then depressed and then anxious again. I have these bouts of crying and it is hard especially when driving home and the tears are rolling down my face. All I want to do is make it stop and I am scared that it won't. I have two daughters and a wife and a roof over my head but I don't know how to be grateful and not depressed.

[Paints123]

Hi RotoCat, sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. What you wrote really resonates with me and echos some of my struggles. It is so hard during these times to see that things will get better, but they will. You are not alone.

[Nothingelsematters]

Hi rotocat,

Sounds very like what I am going through. I have tried various antidepressants but they made me worse. Struggling to find hope. I keep thinking I am the only one. All the best.

[worthytobeloved]

Bless you - it sounds very much like you're experiencing clinical depression, which really is the most awful thing to go through. If you haven't already, can you go to a doctor and tell him this. If you can't put it into words, just show him your post. With any luck, you might be prescribed the right antidepressants which, after a while, will make you feel OK again. Also, if you can talk to someone (therapist, counsellor, friend - anyone), it might also help. When I was like you and couldn't get any medical help, I went to a counselling centre attached to a church (but not religious) where you only paid a donation, and was just allowed to talk - even if it was rubbish - and it helped to be listened to. I will hold you in my thoughts and prayers, and wish you speedy and lasting healing. xxx

[RotoCat in reply to worthytobeloved]

Thank you. I am trying to take it one day at a time. I have a therapist I see once a week, and I am on medication. Each day feels so long getting up and having to face the day and plow through it is so hard. I am lucky that I have a job but I worry that I am going to spiral out of control.....

[76Cat in reply to RotoCat]

I feel the same.I am retired thank goodness because I can barely get to the mailbox let alone go to work. I am on mes and see I therapist but have been getting worse.

[Pugglesworth]

This may sound weird, but crying is actually good for me. I always feel better after a cry; however, it's very difficult to get me to the point of crying. I don't know if you feel better, realizing you just want it to stop. It's a viscous circle and tough to break out of. Just accepting the fact that I was in a circle helped me.

[Arabianhorselover]

How long have you been taking the medication?

[RotoCat in reply to Arabianhorselover]

I have been on medication for as long as I can remember, at least 20+ years. I started out with one but have been on different ones. The two most recent since October/November with varying degrees of dosage.

[Arabianhorselover]

One thing I know for sure is that it is possible to be depressed and grateful at the same time. I've been there much of my life. I've always been grateful for the blessings in my life, but they are very difficult to focus on when depressed. I also deal with a lot of anxiety. Currently waiting for a medication to kick in on that. I hope you feel better soon somehow.