Update

[Coffee_always]

so I came on here a few months ago to talk about my elevator anxiety. And I was honestly really floored and appreciative of the support I got. I wanted to take a second to update you guys that I may not have that perfectly figured out yet, I am still avoidant in all honesty. And I still experience high anxiety in the elevator BUT I have been going to therapy and I have realized that for me it’s time to change my nursing focus, it has been a high level of stress for me and I couldn’t accept that. I have been working ICU for 5 years since the beginning of COVID. I felt/feel a certain closeness with this unit and these patients that I couldn’t let go of. I wanted to help the sickest of the sick, I wanted to help people have a dignified and comfortable death. I wanted to be a light for people in a dark and hard time. I wanted the high level knowledge . I wanted to be a person that could handle that and help ease people’s pain. But I realized that the toll that all the stress has had on me is becoming unbalanced. I am now not as well emotionally or physically. I’m working at it but I have been working night ICU for all this time, and it seems like the work has put a significant strain on me. I want to care for myself too. So, I have accepted a job working in dialysis now. There is a weight that has been lifted off of me. Even though I still want to care for these patients, I think now I can still be caring and helpful to a different subset of patients in a different environment. I can still be a light. I can see that now. Before I just couldn’t accept that maybe it was time for me to make a change, maybe I could do good elsewhere. I always wanted this and thought it would be much longer that I worked in that space. But you can’t always predict how you will feel and how things will transpire for you. I wanted to tell people out there it is okay to make a change. It feels like the radical acceptance has opened me up to understanding myself. Fighting against it wasn’t working anymore. I can always still go back to the ICU if this just doesn’t work for me. I will still keep working on the elevator issue, it’s not gone but somehow I wonder if my nervous system is calmer maybe I can face it better. My whole life is changing and it feels welcome. Sending hope to others making hard decisions.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Good on you! Sometimes that's all you need is a change to ignite the spark that will lead to even bigger accomplishments.

Happy to hear that therapy has helped understand yourself a little better. I, too, am the same way. I like helping people. It makes me feel good. But I, too, noticed it started to take a toll on me. I was putting my mental health and needs last to focus on everybody else. That was wrong. You can't pour from an empty cup. I also had to realize that admitting it and to make a change is not me being a quitter or selfish. It not selfishness to look after your health.

As for the elevator, keep practicing. You can do so many things to aid in that. Like in your home and stand inside your closet. Pretend it's a crowded elevator and just time yourself. Or you can ride it up to 1 floor up or down and get off. Or take a safety buddy with you and ride the elevator up or down 1 floor and get off. Small steps can lead to bigger victories later. Anyways I'm very proud of you. Thank you for coming back and reporting your success with us! Keep going!

Sending love and hugs 🫂❤️

[optimismrus]

Great share, Coffee, thanks. 🥰