so discouraged

[Monkey104]

have had anxiety for 20 years now, but haven’t had “episodes” in the last 12 years thanks to medication. Last September, a situation with my 11 year old triggered it all back. I haven’t been the same since. Even though the situation with my son has been dealt with, I’m still not back to myself. I’ve had good days and I start to think “ok, here we go. I’m gonna be fine again” to start all over again days later. I always find something to think about to trigger my anxiety. In the middle of all of this, last October we got a puppy. I was feeling better then and thought I would be back to myself old self. Wrong. Now four months later, I have an 8 month old puppy whom we love, but which my son absolutely adores and I’m the main caregiver. However, I realize the responsibility is too much for me to handle and I don’t want to do it anymore. Hence, anxiety came back with a vengeance, can’t stop crying because I would re-home her, but my son would be devastated. And thinking of him being devastated makes my anxiety even worse and I feel guilty and I can’t stop crying. I add on myself also thinking I’ll never be good again, I’ll be stuck like this for forever. I won’t be able to go back to work, I’ll just be sad and unhappy for the rest of my life. Crying typing this as I am so discouraged. Also seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist whom added a medication to the medication I already take which obviously until now hasn’t done much. Just looking for a glimpse of hope that I’ll get out of this hole. Thank you for reading my post

[jadeite11]

Hi there, I have had dogs all my life and when they are puppies they are like babies!! So full of energy and exhausting. They do calm down with time, around 1 and a half they start to calm down. You could try getting a walker for a while save you having to do that, that way you can keep your dog, keep your son happy and take the pressure of you. Im sorry to hear you sufer with anxiety so badly. There are a couple of tings you could try one is meditation, you could either join a group or get an app online, or buy a book. Mindfulness might be a good meditation to try as it sounds like you worry alot and this is about being in the present, its very helpful. Also try exercising, and this is both good for you being in nature or going to the gym and doing some sports, or even 20 minutes at home on a mini trampoline, or doing a dvd of dancing, anything you fancy. Also reading is great as it keeps your mind busy, something tat you would enjoy from a library where its free. None of this needs to cost much. I get stuff from charity shops. Try just 5/10 minutes a day or when you feel like it. Also its ok to cry and vent, write a diary and keep it locked away for privacy, let yourself vent and cry all you like. Its healthier for you as it allows your energy to clear and balance. I wish you all the best. Theses things take time ok, but little effort will help gradually..

[LoveforAll41]

Monkey104, I am so sorry that you are suffering right now. I am guessing you have been away from therapy and very regular visits as you haven't had any episodes for years?

I know everyone is different, but I had a breakdown in the beginning of January and thought I was done at my current job. I got on some new meds, and did a ketamine treatment and a ketamine assisted therapy appointment. Now I am back and will work this job for several more months until I can financially leave. Anyway, there is a way back to hope, I just wanted to illustrate one thing that has helped me.

If you are a reader of self help stuff I love:

The Mindful Self Compassion Workbook -- Kristin Neff and a guy

Feeling Great -- David Burns

How to get out of your mind and into your life -- Steven Hayes

Anyway, I know reading is not everyone's cup of tea. Just know there is a path to peace and hope for you out there. You are not alone in suffering.☮️

[CrowBoy]

I hadn’t had a depressive episode for nearly twenty years, then in November my meds stopped working and I have been in a bad space ever since. I have been doing therapy and am trying a new med, not much positive so far. Like you, I have feelings that I’m stuck here and won’t be able to get back to feeling good.

But I get glimpses of peace and beauty every day, and I hold onto them, write about them. I stay connected with loved ones, and try to be compassionate toward myself, which is hard because I’m in the habit of dumping guilt and shame on myself. I don’t have the responsibilities that you do, but I try to credit myself when I do anything that is useful.

Our battle is always within ourselves, right? The hopelessness is inside us, and so is the hope. Please hang on to the good things!

[Beevee]

Hi

Sorry to learn you are struggling.

If its any help, anxiety is excellent at making the thought of everyday situations too much to bear. Situations that, without anxiety being present, wouldn't not raise an eyebrow.

I had many situations where I felt that I could not cope [looking after 4 small children, work etc etc] but accepted that it was anxiety playing tricks and creating a false sense of dread. Despite this, I carried on and things improved greatly.

This my advice to you. If you learn to to cope with the symptoms of anxiety by accepting and living alongside them, they will disappear.

You will become so good at it, any future episodes [they can happen through memory or habit] are unlikely to cause you any bother.

Best wishes. ❤️