toxic relationship recovery

[tg91589]

I thought I met the perfect man a year and a half ago. But it was all an act. He single handedly derailed my life and caused so much pain and suffering to me and my family. We finally stopped talking and have gone no contact, I know its essential and its for the best, but why does it hurt so bad? I keep trying to better myself and distract myself with productive things but I can not stop thinking about him/missing him. Will this ever get any better????

[LazyXrayEyes2255]

he is not important but you are important. Believe in yourself and hope for real relationships that will last better than this one. Takes time to find someone that is right. You will and trust yourself

your goal should be to look after yourself and mental health x

[optimismrus]

Dear tg, Yes, it will get better. Right now you are grieving a loss, even if it was for the best. Take a look at the 5 Stages of Grief. It's not just the death of a loved one that triggers grief. You're suffering the loss of a relationship/dream. I think that's why it hurts so much. And "thank you, God" it didn't take 10 years to figure him out. You're wise, you're strong. Use this to continue to grow and become the person you truly are. 🥰

[tg91589]

thank you, its just hard, I am trying so hard to forget about him I don't want to ruminate about it anymore, or take up any space in my head .

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to tg91589]

Evict the squatter in your headspace. He doesn't deserve to have a say in your world anymore. Prioritize your needs a pamper your weary mind as you've been traumatized by this relationship of deception.

He's not the person he portrayed himself to be. You're worth more than that and deserve to be treated as an equal in a relationship.

You do You! You're worth every penny 😌😉

[RS1974]

It will get better sweetie,take time to grieve the relationship and take care of yourself.

[Scarletsunrise]

It's hard because we want to believe in the best in people and it feels like we are giving up on them. You miss what the relationship could have been.

Leaving is also admitting it was a mistake that 'derailed' your life and I don't know about you but I really struggled with accepting that I let that happen and how derailed my life actually was!

Grieve the loss but try not to get stuck. Your going to have many more experiences, relationships and people in your life who aren't going to hurt you and derail it. Try and give brainspace to future you not just past you.

[casablancalover14]

I feel like you and I are in the same boat. I was in a similar situation as yourself. He started wanting things and money from me, and I finally end it. It's been a while, but I still miss the time we spent together. I'm hoping that as time goes on, things will get better. I'm here to listen, anytime.🫠🫠

[Fibby55]

It will get better. You will be ok. I know it hurts, grieve, cry and move on. What helped me when he left, I made a list of the pros and cons of the relationship. I had more cons then pros on that list! I read them when I felt sad and it helped me realize that I deserved better then him. No one needs to put up with toxic partners!

[jackiesj]

tg91589....I was just asking myself IF i needed someone to complete me or was i really complete myself...yes i realize we have relationships to help us grow to love like etc. Until i am more happy with myself as a person...full of art joy and laughter and downs..i tend to draw creepy people into my circle.. i miss real people who dont use others...They are outthere....

[Midori]

It is a form of grief; almost but not quite like a bereavement, as you know he is still out there.

It may not feel like it, but you really are better off without a man who could treat you so badly.

It will pass, but it will take as long as it takes, no to people grieve in the same way, or for the same amount of time.

I had a husband like that, so bad I had to take the kids and run for all our safety's. He suicided, and I just felt numb for a very long time. Almost a feeling of sick relief.

I brought up my kids solo; they are adults now.

Cheers, Midori