For the last week or so I’ve contemplated coming on here, but I haven’t been sure if I should. A couple weeks back I posted about the situation my mom was in and if I was a bad son. Hoping I’d get some positive feedback to help me decide what to do. Instead I saw a bunch of hateful comments and people thinking I was a troll. And then the post was deleted before I could ever explain myself.
Now I’m not sure if this space is actually a safe space for help and advice. Can YOU be trusted??
A troll is someone who intentionally does something to get a rise out of someone. Basically I was accused of making things up for attention. Not very kind or friendly responses I was getting
Did you manage to get help for your mum.
The next morning while trying to get ready for a furniture delivery I noticed her feet were in horrible shape and got an ambulance to come. Took the paramedics a few minutes to talk her into allowing them to take her to the hospital. She died about 5hrs later. I don’t remember the last thing I said to her, but it was probably said in anger and maybe yelled. I was so angry at her.
Wow…typing that now, made me realize that was the last I talked to her
Maybe you should be talking about the loss of your mum rather than berating users who offered advice.
Nobody offered advice that I saw. Maybe there was some, but my post was removed before I could see it all. All I saw was snippets of comment in my email
I think the advice was to get her help.
The post was most likely removed because of its upsetting nature
Yes . Several people suggested getting help, calling her brother maybe. There were a few supportive comments. I agree about the reason for the post being removed- it was upsetting to read .
Godless
I remember your post and it was quite upsetting to us reading it. I imagine the troll comments were because we hoped the story wasn't real. We have many people coming on site doing this.
Yes we can be trusted but we couldn't support neglect.
I'm sorry for the passing of your mom. This is a very difficult time for you. Are you in therapy?
🐬
It wasn’t neglect. Nobody neglect her, she was doing what she wanted. I did everything I could to help her. Everything but go against what she wanted. Even the morning she died after me and my brother saw what shape her feet were in she said she was fine. Even the paramedics had trouble talking her into going with them.
I’m just angry at people who judged me for something I had no control over. When I’m asking for help or advice. Then I can’t even comment back to explain the next day cause the post was removed. Just felt like nobody cared, and I was in the wrong. Great response to someone struggling.
It's up to you if you post here or not. I think if you had read that same post written by another member it may have upset you as well.
Our hearts went out to your mother when you described the scene and her conditions. I'm sorry your post didn't go as you planned. I'msorry you didn't feel supported however we were very concerned about your mother.
Again, I'm very sorry for your loss and hope you are getting the help you need
I get this situation is complicated as I've worked in domiciliary care and seen it all.
I've come across this situation before and even though will appear shocking have learned never to judge.
Perhaps it was the way you wrote the post which was alarming to members on here.
You gave no background history which might have helped others understand where you were coming from.
I remember how horrified we were at leaving your mother in that situation. I think most of us couldn't see past that and rightly so.
I am sorry she has now passed and I hope you can now move on with your life.
I remember it too, and it upset me very much that your Mum was in such a situation, sorry to hear that she has died, but she is at peace now 🙏
Godless,Are you talking about the post that depicted you abusing your sick mom?
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you show her memory more respect...
Posts like this are so helpful. “Abusing my sick mom”, “hope [I] show her memory more respect”. This is why I was hesitant to post on here again. People are quick to judge rather than trying to help or talk it out
I'm sorry to be blunt, but that's exactly what your deleted post showed. You were watching her be in her own filth, were you not?
I hate to tell you this but that's exactly what you did. Whether you meant to do it or not doesn't change the result. You seem to think we should have been more concerned about you than your poor old mother.
Any normal decent person would be (and were) horrified at how you allowed your mum to spend her last days and that's exactly what we told you. Surely that's not difficult to understand?
You were asking for advice on what to do - well it wasn't an advice asking question, it was why the hell have you allowed this to go on no matter how stubborn your mum was. You were rightly or wrongly responsible for her safety and you failed her completely. All of us realised this straightaway but you chose to see it in terms of we were 'horrible' to you instead.
We were disgusted.
Are you disabled?
Depends on what you mean by that. Not physically, but I collect SSI for my mental health
Have you got help for your mental health? Are they monitoring you?
Have you managed to do anything for yourself? Please try therapy?
So
So sad
So misunderstood by spouse :(
Need help 
So, even though I’m so depressed I can’t do much...
