Im allergic to job and job is allergic to being legal to the government and its employees

[No_Longer_Human]

I applied for a schoolarship. A psychologist really wants me as her intern but she won't pay me (even though the government is paying her to pay me) , it's a good opportunity to learn but i need income to be able to stay alone and idk if there will be other internships in my field but if there are, I don't want to miss getting paid. But she's really persistent. The boss is scary. She called but i got a panic attack talking to her, she frights me. She wants me there but won't pay me. It's still good for the experience but it's triggering. Idk if i can handle working as a psychologist in my state but it can also be good. The thing is that I can do this project once and that i will be signing up im taking a salary but i won't be. The last place i got offered, offered me a salary, just it was away and full time. And now wondering if i can get a new offer like that that pays. The thing is that it's an internship in my field, the bad thing is that it's not paid and i have only one chance and if something that pays pops up, i would have worked for 0 salary. But i don't know if something else will pop up

[Joemama55]

What does it mean to be allergic to it?

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Joemama55]

My body reacts. I got terrible cramps in my stomach and im sweating even though it's cold and im fidgeting.... I messed a few day of good mental health

[Joemama55 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

Sounds pretty serious. Can you get another type of job?

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Joemama55]

It is. Thank you for recognising it. I applied for online tutoring but im not getting called back. And maybe even if I get it, i will get the same reaction. I need to get independent from mom but im just bending in half if they call me back

[gajh]

I think it is amazing you have this job opportunity. I know you can do it. I offer you my support.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to gajh]

Thank you. But they won't pay

[gajh in reply to No_Longer_Human]

That is ok. It is a step towards a paid position. This will look great on a resume. Definitely go for it. It is a great opportunity.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to gajh]

Thanks just idk if there aren't other options that pay

[gajh in reply to No_Longer_Human]

Just take this as your first step. Don't worry about what might or might not be other options. Take this opportunity that is presenting itself right now. You can do something different in the future when you are ready. This will be such a great step for you.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to gajh]

Exactly that im worried about - i don't think i will do this in the future, even now they're refusing to pay me

[gajh in reply to No_Longer_Human]

It is ok that they are refusing to pay you. Just take this opportunity as your first step. You don't have to stick with it forever. You will be building your resume and getting great experience.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to gajh]

I have only one shot and if i give it now, i might miss an intern that pays. I really don't know what to do. The contract is for 9 months

[Downinil]

Are you a psychologist? If so maybe it would help to use some positive self therapy. You know, like what would you advise a client who came to you with this dilemma. Reading your bio says a lot. Everything you’ve overcome as well as everything you’ve accomplished so far tells me you can do anything you set your mind to. Don’t pass this opportunity up. You can do this.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Downinil]

Thank you. Just idk if i can go to work every day and spend hours there. I can't get up from bed

[Downinil in reply to No_Longer_Human]

I understand bc I am in a similar situation with my health. Everyday that I wake up is a gift even with these struggles. You can do anything you set your mind to. Remember that. Ok?

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Downinil]

I tried so hard. I want to work. But i just can't follow the schedule and i feel tired and every day

[Downinil in reply to No_Longer_Human]

You can do only so much so try to accept what is for now. Take baby steps toward a reasonable goal. Forcing positive thoughts while feeling miserable seems pretty grueling but just change one thought at a time.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Downinil]

Yeah. I can't. Unfortunately there are only big steps like living alone, job, household

[Downinil]

Oh? But you Can!

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Downinil]

Thanks. Idk if i can go there every day. And idk whether i would need money. Espresially when mom came and took what i had. It's a great opportunity to follow my dream but the economic reality and greed of the boss and dad will ruin it