I have more than one life story. Happy life, and sad life.
I don't despise the sad life; I just don't celebrate it. I don't always celebrate the happy life; some of those happy memories can make me realize that I have lost someone still important to me. I enjoy them before that part takes place, so I take it as a win, with an asterisk.
My former therapists could not understand how I could see it this way. Then as I thought through it, I realized that they couldn't, because they hadn't lived through what I was going through. They do not have a frame of reference based on experiential properties.
So, as strange as it might seem to a mental health professional, i DO feel the complexity of dueling emotions when both areas of my life are the current affairs of my life!
My life isn't something that can fit on a generically generated AI page. No, it is a series of itself in differing forms and shades from the light it produces.
Sometimes I'm all the way, away from myself. Does anyone else experience this?