I have more than one life story. Happy life, and sad life.
I don't despise the sad life; I just don't celebrate it. I don't always celebrate the happy life; some of those happy memories can make me realize that I have lost someone still important to me. I enjoy them before that part takes place, so I take it as a win, with an asterisk.
My former therapists could not understand how I could see it this way. Then as I thought through it, I realized that they couldn't, because they hadn't lived through what I was going through. They do not have a frame of reference based on experiential properties.
So, as strange as it might seem to a mental health professional, i DO feel the complexity of dueling emotions when both areas of my life are the current affairs of my life!
My life isn't something that can fit on a generically generated AI page. No, it is a series of itself in differing forms and shades from the light it produces.
Sometimes I'm all the way, away from myself. Does anyone else experience this?
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Senior4merEverything
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I have read your post a few times, and you are a very eloquent writer! However, I am not quite understanding what the question might be you are asking. I wish I could help. π
I was asking if anyone else has the experience of trying shut their own self out of their life. Has anyone else, tried to live their life, while not being who they are inside. I know I went a little off the track with it, Apologies for this.
I totally understand your words, purgatory and having no aim in life, lost souls, even posting comments can go off in tangents, we are all individuals and often lose track of our own being's, I think as we get older certain thoughts might enter our way of thinking. Anything can trip the switch in the brain too have different emotions, thoughts and even being impulsive can affect the ways our lives have continued or changed, or mixing with friends and family, even certain song's can affect the times we remember , even having pets as a child, memories and thoughts are what makes us totally different from one another π
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