Who knows some clean jokes?

[AlLeYkAt86-]

Tonight I find myself in the unavoidable position of attending a family function. That's depressing in and of itself but it's going to be crowded, and noisy, and everyone asking, "How are you? How's work? What have you been up to?" And since, "I'm horrible, a nervous wreck. A painful daily experience. Avoiding situations like this!" are not going to be acceptable answers, who's got some tricks of the imbalanced trade to squeak through this shindig?

[Jrick34]

I loathe situations like that. And it only gets worse when they find out something is bothering you. My advice would be muster up the best smile you can and just keep in the mind how relieve will be once the function is over. I have a joke as well and I hope it works for you

Doctor: "Iam sorry sir, we have done all we can do...you have 10 to live."

Patient: "What??? 10??? 10 what??? Weeks??? Days??? Months??? Years???"

Doctor: "9....8....7....6....."

[Agora1 in reply to Jrick34]

lol How are you doing Jrick?? x

[Jrick34 in reply to Agora1]

Iam doing sooo much better, thank you for always asking. How are things on your end

[CatIsMyCopilot in reply to Jrick34]

This is one of my favorites.

[Sillysausage234]

Potato 🥔to broccoli 🥦.....why do you keep shouting out swear words...🥦broccoli ..because I’ve got florets 😁

[hypercat54]

How about all the what do you call someone with (put your own words) on their head? Example a woman with tiles on her head is called Ruth, a man with a spade is called Doug. x

[kenster1]

terrible at jokes but here goes..a banana walks into a barbers and the stylist says yes sir and the banana says can I have a skin head..

[Hidden]

I'm a sucker for corny jokes and found this one: A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Here's the site I found it on. Hope it helps!

thoughtcatalog.com/brandon-...

[kenster1 in reply to Hidden]

that's a good one..

[quitter333]

jokes usually dont fare well

I suggest that you bingewatch some 20 episodes of Whose line is it anyways. or listen to some energetic comic like George Carlin or Bill Burr. The things they say will make you laugh and their energy will allow you feel freer in your event. Maybe something will exactly play out as in the comedy you saw, and you'll have a great material or joke to add

[CatIsMyCopilot]

This one is dumb, but makes me laugh:

A tourist steps aboard a Greyhound bus.

“Driver, does this bus go to Duluth?”

“No, sir. This bus goes ‘beep-beep’… “

[Sillysausage234]

youtu.be/koNwUeG-iKE(Not working as expected?)

[Agora1]

Well...I had been seeing this psychiatrist for 11 years when one

day he said something to me that made me gasp..

"Yo no hablo Ingles" (I knew I talked too much) lol xx

[AlLeYkAt86-]

Survived the ordeal. I'd be dishonest to say my humor remained in the G rated section but I left with a modicum of dignity.