Hello everyone,
I am new and am looking to connect with others who suffer from anxiety and depression. It is hard to deal with and has hindered my social life. No friends or boyfriend. I feel very isolated and alone. I've been alone for so long I think I have forgotten how to connect with people. Does anyone else feel this way. I feel like everyone else in the world connects and finds romantic partners so easily. I am also 55 years old.
Hi. I'm 56 and have a husband and still feel so alone. I'm so scared all the time. Reading your comment gave me a sense that I am not alone in this and I hope I can do the same for you. Do you have a constant feeling of your heart beating out of your chest like I do? Can't make any decisions? Don't want to leave your house? I feel like that all the time. The worse feeling is that you are alone in this and we are not. I wish you the best day
Hello there, I so can relate to you. I hate leaving my house and acting normal in public . Constantly thinking that people can read my mind and how uncomfortable I feel even buying groceries. I have days when I am just wearing my night clothes at all times and let things pile up on me. It’s like a mountain pouring over you and you have no escape route.
Hi there Dancelady, you could be my twin! I feel exactly like you do….to a T! As I’m writing this at 2 pm, I am still in my bathrobe, house needs cleaning, I need a shower and a teeth brushing, but I just don’t care. I feel the same way at the grocery store even though it has gotten a little better.
Hello Rufus07, thank you for responding and sharing your same thoughts with me. Energy is not on our best side to say the least. Just take one step at a time and appreciate just the small accomplishments such as getting out of bed, brushing teeth, shower, fixing food etc. much love and hope we both starting to feel better soon. Have you ever felt like you are in the past and just can’t move forward? That’s me in a nutshell.
I don’t feel like I’m stuck in the past, but the present and future terrify me! What if this, what if that happens. I’m scared and don’t know what I’ll do. I have never been one who can appreciate small achievements which is sad. I feel like my sig other is really , after 10 years, getting really tired of my mental health issues. He says he’s not and would never leave me but I feel like how much can he really take. I barely leave the house and he pretty much does everything with his friends. What a great partner that makes me feel like! He doesn’t even really ask if I want to join in anymore because he knows the answer will be no. Sorry this is all over the place. Just writing my thoughts. Thank you for listening.
I am happy that you have a wonderful and understanding sig other. I know how you feel not wanting to go anywhere or leave the house. I am constantly hiding and I am not good at socializing. Lost a lot of friends due to it. My sig other is much older than me and can’t relate to me at all. Especially whenever we met, I was able to put up a front and acted all happy . It’s been 10 years and now I just feel lost and empty. He does his own thing as well and hangs out with his friends which is understandable.
I do a lot of isolating, which I know isn’t good, but it’s how I cope. Dark room, crying and sleeping is how I spend many of days. As my partner says, you are letting life pass right by you and he is right. I just have no desire to do anything I used to like doing. I’ve pretty much accepted that this will forever be my life.
Have you talked to a therapist ? Are you taking any meds?
So many for 30 plus years! I’ve never found any help or relief from talk therapy unfortunately. I do see my med management every 3 months and we do talk. Been seeing him for about8 plus years. He has told me that there is really nothing else he can do for me but I don’t want to change doctors and start all over. I don’t do good with change and it would be emotionally difficult to start over so I just go to my appointments and go through the emotions….I usually cry every time I go. I’m not good at putting on a happy face if I’m not feeling happy
I am so sorry to hear that but I can understand and sympathize as well. I was in a mental health facility some years ago and it really damaged me more since people are usually in there for substance abuse and I felt I wasted time and money. After that I started talk therapy for about 3 years and nothing really helped. Meds didn’t help me either and all the side affects made me feel worse.
thank you for talking to me today🙂. It’s a beautiful day and I’m going to try to get myself out on the deck to enjoy the sun….yes, in my bathrobe lol. I hope your day is going as well as it can and hopefully I’ll talk to you soon. Take care
Hi HelloKittyLover,
You are not alone. I am sorry you are experiencing those panicky feelings. I also feel anxious when I leave the house because I have this feeling that people judge me for always being alone and I am self conscious about my looks. I know that feeling of racing thoughts and not being able to calm down. When it happened to me it was in 2020 and I started therapy. I have more coping skills now and meds just in case, but I haven't needed the meds much. I am here for you when you need someone. I wish you the best.
Hello,Im 65 and almost totally isolated. I dont have any useful info to give other than I totally empathize and appreciate what you are expsriencing.
Hello PeaceNeed,Thank you for your comment and empathizing with what I am going through. It makes me feel that I am not alone in this. I went to the park today to get fresh air and enjoy nature. I enjoyed nature, but seeing all the couples walking handsome in hand, people with friends and families hanging out just made me wish I had people in my life to enjoy life with. At least I can talk to people online who understand some of my struggles or at least won't judge me harshly. Thank you.
Well done for being brave enough to go out. You are SO not alone, as you can see from all the comments. I'm the same - just so scared of being judged negatively, and fearful of cruel remarks. The ironic thing is, I'm 71 - who really cares what an old lady looks like! Once again, congratulations on getting out! xxx
Hi Worthtobeloved,
Thank you for saying I am brave. My therapist encourages me to get out of my comfort zone so I force myself to go out. Staying isolated and alone in the house gets me depressed and in a dark place. Just smelling fresh air outside and feeling the sun on my skin helps some. I do feel insecure about my looks and how I appear to other people but I push past that and go out anyways. I hope one day like you I will feel comfortable in my own skin and that I am enough. Thank you for your kind words they are greatly appreciated. You are 71 years old and precious. I can tell.🙂
Thank you and bless you! I will remember you, and try to be as brave as you. xxx
I still feel afraid and anxious I acknowledge my feelings but try not to let them hold me back. I will continue to push out of my comfort zones. I believe you can too worthytobeloved. I believe you are braver than you think. Bless you too!
Hello. You are not alone. I am 62 F and widowed for close to 15 years.
I have never really had friends throughout my life. I am almost convinced that will never change.
I don’t even know how to make friends. I am not interested in a romantic relationship. I just want friends.
I live in a somewhat rural area. There are no Meetup groups anywhere near here. The Next Door app has very little activity.
I retired and moved here two years ago. I am not sure what would change when I moved here. If anything I am even lonelier.
I just want to have a social life that I have never had.
Like you, I just want friends - people who will accept me, warts and all!
Exactly, I just want to be accepted for myself warts and all.
I am of the opinion many on this site can relate to your sense of loneliness and social isolation .
I am the same age as you , very much on my own and trying to pursue a purpose and it takes strength and courage to go on line and ask for friendship .
However ,in my experience, I have tried for many years to find friends and some can be sincere and some insincere .
Also , being the wrong people can make you feel more alienated and this is my experience when I go and visit my parents homeland.
To meet people with similar interests and goals and a genuine friendship is someone who empowers you and shows you compassion and kindness which is a two way process .
I have been alone for many , many years and disappointed by external family for not being successful enough , married or working .
To find friends who care for each other unconditionally, it takes time and I believe as in life , you only get back what you put in .
Also to have the self confidence to talk and strike a conversation.
Hi Roukaya,
Thank you for your response and comments. It was so hard to admit on here that I have no friends and that the loneliness is so hard. Imagine and this forum is pretty anonymous. It feels impossible to admit that in my life to people even though people always comment on how quiet I am. Thank you for understanding my pain and not judging me. I appreciate you.
I am also 55 years old and never been married which I feel also makes me feel like an outsider in a very coupled up world. I also lost a lot of friends that was mostly male friends who when they got married stopped hanging out with me and being my friend. It hurts. I have a grown son who suffers from a severe mental illness that I lost contact with and is homeless. He was my only child and the guilt and pain of that makes me sad and depressed also.
I'm so sorry to hear about your son.
Thank you for your kind words. When I think of my son struggling to survive on the streets it makes me sad and adds to all my anxiety but I carry on.
Why are you laughing at someone else's comment? That's not cool.
I am a little older than you, nut I still get those feelings too. Sometimes I don't want to get in the car and drive to work, so I have to force myself to do it. Some days are easier than others, please hang in there. You are worth it!🙂
Work is another thing. I don't like going to the office. I work at home part of the week. I hate going in because I don't have any friends at work and watching the people who have friends chatting and going to lunch together makes me feel bad. I hate when they ask me what I am doing on the weekends. I usually lie like I have friends and lots to do so they won't look down on me. I hate the mask and charade I have to put on to look "normal".
Thank you. I appreciate that
Hi! I don’t think it’s easy to make friends at our age, not that it’s impossible. I don’t have many friends, and the ones I do have we don’t see each other often. My best friend is busy with his family and other activities that I’m not interested in and vice versa.
I’m married and I still find I do more things alone than with my wife. Though I do enjoy when we hang out together.
In my experience joining a group of people who have similar interests and connect with others that way.
As you have already seen, this is a great avenue to make friends online to chat with too! So many great people here!!
Yes, thank you for your words of encouragement. I just wish I had some special people and a husband to share my life with. It's hard to come home to an empty house everyday except for my cat.
There are days when I’d be happy to come home to an empty house with the exception of our dog, who is Daddy’s girl 😊.
In my case my wife and son are always home and there are times when I’d like some alone time.
I’m glad you came here, at least you know you have folks who you can talk with!
Yes, I am glad I came here and people like yourself are responded to my posts. I just needed a support group and people I can talk to that can understand my struggles. Thank you for being one of those people. It makes living more bearable when there is someone out in the world who cares. So thank you for caring and responding kindly to my posts.
You’re very welcome! I’m happy I could make your day a little better along with everyone else here!!
I thought I was the only one who thought it was hard to make friends when we are older.
I had some very good neighbors at my last house. I do keep in touch with one texting daily. Unfortunately it’s a long drive between us so visits aren’t too likely. Besides which when I am feeling depressed I really can’t interact with other people.
When I was about 10 years old we moved to an area that was very cliquey. Outsiders were bullied for being different. So at that point forward I had no friends and was constantly bullied.
Having friends would make a big difference for me. Just don’t know how to find them.
I know I was more social when I was younger and wasn't as reserved as I am now or even as I grew older.
I belong to a fraternal order and although I call these other men "friends" we don't socialize outside of our meetings. Most of them are much older than me and many of them live a bit far for a weekly visit (I work, most of them are retired). There are a few closer to my age but still, we have never hung out outside of order events.
I'm a music (CDs) collector and even when I visit record stores and "bond" with someone over a band of genre of music, it ends when we both leave the shop.
It's funny, I never really thought about it until now. I would love to become friends with someone who I have something in common with, like my music hobby. It would be great to have someone to go to record stores and shows with or someone to meet for dinner/coffee to sit and gab about our interests. It just doesn't happen.
Just let it go I'm sure the user has seen your post from earlier.
Isolated and Alone
No friends FOREVER ALONE!!
Very alone 
alone and tired...
Making Friends again 
