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Unexplained anxiety

sad_watermelon profile image
24 Replies

Every night I, go to bed with anxiety and I don’t know where it comes from. I am more or less good during the day, but a night it’s driving me crazy. My heart is beating so fast, I have a kind of ball in my stomach, my thoughts are moving extremely fast… I’ve been told this is anxiety, but what I can’t find what exactly is causing it.

Yes, I am alone and feel awful, yes, my loneliness makes me want to text my ex and ask him to get back together, even after everything he did to me, yes I am so far from home and I miss my close people, but it’s been the case for a month now. And this feeling came like a week ago. Nothing new is happening, but this thing came…

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sad_watermelon profile image
sad_watermelon
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24 Replies
b1b1b1 profile image
b1b1b1

Getting over a significant relationship can take months to years. You need to give it much more time and meanwhile try to get involved in other things. Does your new school have clubs. If so, try to join one. Additionally try to see if the school offers therapy or some sort of emotional support. Most universities do.

sad_watermelon profile image
sad_watermelon in reply tob1b1b1

But I’ve been doing great for months after the breakup. Why is this happening now?

mizzou7016 profile image
mizzou7016 in reply tosad_watermelon

because you are in a new stress filled enviornment and trying to use your old coping mechanisms to get you through it....you realize that those aren't good options but yyou know that it's worked for you in the past....

sad_watermelon profile image
sad_watermelon in reply tomizzou7016

But I have been in this situation for a month and the anxiety came now which I find strange

mizzou7016 profile image
mizzou7016 in reply tosad_watermelon

Did it actually come right now....or has it been there all the time and you just pushed it back in until you didn't have any more room to keep it

b1b1b1 profile image
b1b1b1 in reply tosad_watermelon

Well, I am hesitant to say this, and I hope you take it in a constructive way, but I am not so sure you have been doing great. You still think a lot about your former boyfriend, you still are lonely and have not made new friends and you are still homesick. All of this is normal because it takes a long time to get over an ex, make new friends and get over being homesick. Try hard to find therapy and consider anti depressants.

Anxiety can rear its ugly head at any time. x

sad_watermelon profile image
sad_watermelon in reply tob1b1b1

I guess you are right. I have had a lot of days with a good mood, but also days with awful mood. I thought the good days meant that I am over everything and I’m fine. But it turns out it’s not the case. I guess I’ve been searching for something to remove the pain once and for all, but that’s impossible . Maybe there will be different days until all days become great like they used to be.

b1b1b1 profile image
b1b1b1 in reply tosad_watermelon

Yes, I think that is a very good way to view it. Just keep in mind that it may take time and try not to be so hard on yourself. You are human and humans cannot turn on a dime when their lives are turned upside down. You have had tremendous upheaval in your life - moving, starting a new school, losing your boyfriend, not being with your parents, not being with your friends. This has all happened at once and it is a lot to adjust to. I do think talking with a therapist would help you - just being able to verbalize your sadness and loneliness to another person may be comforting.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

You left a very important relationship, your home country and your family and friends and you wonder why you feel anxiety?

Its because you aren't a robot dear but a real human being with fears, anxieties and stress like everyone especially under your circumstances. So cut yourself some slack will you please?

b1b1b1 profile image
b1b1b1 in reply tohypercat54

I wrote my reply immediately above just before I read yours. We have essentially said the exact same thing. Soul sisters?? xx b1

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply tob1b1b1

Ha ha. Separated at birth more like :) xx

CLB1125 profile image
CLB1125

I dread bedtime. When I get in bed and everything is quiet I start thinking about everything that is bothering me. I can’t get my brain to shut off.

Bblackoscar profile image
Bblackoscar in reply toCLB1125

Perhaps write down the things that are gnawing you and schedule x number of minutes that you will allow yourself to think about these things sometime during your waking hours. Call it your “worry time”.

mizzou7016 profile image
mizzou7016 in reply toCLB1125

definitely understand that.....fight that every day....my mind never shuts completely off either....have been using a lot of white noise lately...

Mountainlover57 profile image
Mountainlover57

I understand how you feel because I have moved from California to Oregon last June and I do miss my family in California. I do have brothers in Oregon but it's just different. I have my granddaughter, daughter and mother in California. So I understand how you feel. The anxiety at night can be hard because that's when everything is quiet and our mind starts to think and ruminate. I found a really good app that calms my brain with certain brain waves. I found by reading that the ruminating in my mind and the anxiety is caused by having too many beta waves going. I did some research into alpha waves which relieves the calmness in my brain as well as other brain waves that I'm learning that helps calm my brain before I go to sleep. I usually turn on the app around 7:00 p.m. and I listen to it for about an hour. I also have a prescription that helps me fall asleep called trazodone. It has taken a few days to start working but it helps me and it isn't addictive. It also doesn't seem to be causing withdrawals if I decide to wean away from it. This is something you had can ask your doctor about. Are you also going through any therapy? This has also helped me.

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom

You have had many huge changes in your life recently. When it's time to go to bed all of that catches up with you. Try to develop a bedtime routine that is calming. Then give your self some time to adjust. Hopefully those things will help in time.

Pitalife profile image
Pitalife

Try to put music on low or talk radio on low,may help w the racing thoughts I suffer w anxiety badly music from YouTube helps for the long lonely nights,w insomnia and ring thoughts,out control thoughts I hate it been bad my whole life w put control anxiety n depression ..hope this lil tip helps you

punkster profile image
punkster

Hello to a fellow anxiety sufferer. My anxiety peaks in the morning. I have heard that it helps if you take some time in the evening before bed to write down everything that is worrying you. Divide the list into things that you have control over and things you don't have control over. Think of things you can do to help what you have control over, and let the rest go.

detour13 profile image
detour13 in reply topunkster

Good day!! Your the same as me.. My anxiety is always worse in the morning!! I wake up most mornings with a pit in my stomach.. Great way to the start our day!! Booooo .. I find going to work really helps , it really gets my mind off of the anxiety!!

Teddy45 profile image
Teddy45

when do you actually take your surgery in? I’m a psychiatric nurse my name is Dani. I suffer with anxiety and depression. I’m a bit better now going back to work. You should take your medication the same time every morning. I don’t know if that helps. If you need to talk to me about anything else please don’t hesitate to get back to me. X

cleaningfairy profile image
cleaningfairy

Bless you, I feel for you as an anxiety sufferer myself I know how awful it makes you feel. Sometimes you just can’t put it into words how you’re feeling.

I was always told there has to be a trigger except I could never find one. A psychiatrist the told me I have generalised anxiety and I don’t have to have a trigger. We are all different but my point is don’t hang on to the why too much as this can make anxiety worse.

Also being around family for support has helped me massively, again we are all different.

Does your anxiety keep you awake at night or are you able to sleep? Do you sleep but not rested?

sad_watermelon profile image
sad_watermelon in reply tocleaningfairy

I have troubles falling asleep, but I do sleep. Although I wake up during the night and then wake up early.

cleaningfairy profile image
cleaningfairy in reply tosad_watermelon

I only ask because when we are tired what ever we are going through from a cold to anything else becomes heightened doesn’t it.

Could you be worrying about the anxiety it’s self ?

I know at night I would begin to get worse because I was afraid of not being able to sleep and being awake all night and afraid of getting to my lowest again which in turn was making my anxiety worse and creating the thing I was so afraid of.

So may be as time moves forward and it gets closer to bedtime when you struggle to fall asleep and then wake during the night , you may feel your not worrying about it but apparently subconsciously our mind triggers fight or flight.

NorwegianWood profile image
NorwegianWood

To counter the anxiety at bed time do some research on mindfulness. It's about focusing on slow intentional breathing to stop other controlled thoughts. I use it every night and find that I can get to sleep generally quickly. I also use it in the morning when I wake too early.

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