HELP. Idk whether to accept an internship. It's either staying the same or gambling to getting a complete hell or normal. + more complicated

[Against_the_current]

My mom's drinking and I'm deabilitated from depression, anxiety and cptsd. I graduated recently. I'm expected to get a job. I was searching but nothing. And i don't feel ready. Everyone tells me to get a job and go to dad's appartment. I haven't been there in years, it's moldy and his kid drew all over the walls. I am really triggered by his kid. So if i don't get the internship I'm offered (that's away and it's full time and in some village) mom might be upset and i will have to stay with her but if i take it i can either try to move out (before my sister occupies the appartment) but i worry i won't be able to renovate, take care of myself and the place and work full time and travel. If i accept the job but don't move out, I'm scared if mom sees i can provide and lessens her working hours and increases her drinking

[Alpakka123]

Hi AtC,

None of us here can tell you what to do since you're an adult. Make a decision. Once you make it you need to own it, though.

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

Yes

[blackcat64013]

Your HU handle "is against the current". Go with the tide to a better future.

I feel the job is the ticket to a positive future.

From my experience, moving out of my stressful environmental, improved my mental health.

As Alpakka said, make the decision and own it.

[gajh]

Now you have options. That is a wonderful thing. You can succeed at whatever you put your mind to. You can do it.

[worthytobeloved]

I hope you get offered the internship. Give it a go! Remember we are all here to support you. I KNOW you can do it!!! xxx

[MaggieSylvie]

Good to hear from you, Against. I think writing this has clarified your situation to yourself. It may be uncomfortable, but you have to get out of your "comfort zone" at some point, and it's not as if your comfort zone is comfortable, is it?

So, go on - off you go, and don't try and redecorate your apartment when you need to be doing career-connected things. Live up to your name and take that first step; it's a gift.

[jjpeabody]

Dear Against_the_Current, take the internship and then move out as quickly as you possibly can. Immediately start keeping a daily journal that includes things to accomplish and do for each day. Also list your fears and worries and then write a solution plan (daily and longer term) to address your worries and concerns. Even if you move into father's place immediately, you can include a list of things you need to do like paint etc getting help and instructions from YouTube or local hardware store. This is a major opportunity for you and you can and must do this. If you were my daughter I would say, "Courage Champion, climb the rocky cliff of challenge. Rise above, Rise above, Rise above to the high plateau!". Best of luck

[bethelbee]

My opinion is this is an opportunity for you get out from under your mom and her toxicity. If you move out and her drinking increases it's not your responsibility. That's a choice she alone makes. You can't live for her. I would sincerely consider this opportunity..