Awful Social Anxiety - I am new to this group

[ctdkm]

It is incredibly hard for me to talk with people new to me. When I'm in those situations, I feel like I don't belong, don't count, have nothing to say for myself or anything that could be interesting. My thoughts race and I want to flee. I avoid public spaces as much as I can.

I can handle interaction in certain situations, like a support group. I'm also experiencing a lot of depression. It's hard to tap into the positive parts of me.

I'm in therapy. It's helping. But I've had these issues from childhood, I've worked on them a lot in my life. Here I am in mid-life wondering how I can grow out of loneliness. Some of the social anxiety issues seem gigantic.

I don't ordinarily make a long post like this. It's my introduction. I am a good listener, and will really appreciate input!

[gajh]

Hello and Welcome. I am glad you have joined us. Please know that HealthUnlocked is experiencing some technical difficulties this weekend. It might be hard to connect with people this weekend. Hopefully things will be fixed by the beginning of the week.

[ctdkm in reply to gajh]

Thanks for letting me know gajh. I was having difficulty logging in yesterday. Glad to hear HealthUnlocked is fixing the issues.

[gajh in reply to ctdkm]

It is usually very easy to access. You probably would have had more responses if it was working properly. I hope you will write another post when it is back up and running properly. More people will want to welcome you.

[LoveMostDogs]

I also have a problem with meeting new people. I'm afraid of them. I was rejected and abused so much as a child, that it's hard to trust anyone. It leaves me feeling very lonely. I'm a senior, and I find it's more difficult as I've gotten older. I don't have a problem in therapy groups, because I don't have to talk about all the things that don't matter, in order to speak about real problems I'm confronting. I found that groups that have a similar interests are a good place to meet people, It can be a PTA group, walking group, tennis class, art class, religious group, or anything you enjoy. Because you have a common interest, it can sometimes make it easier to talk to someone. Sometimes, because your new, people will approach you to welcome you to the group. It doesn't make the anxiety go away, but it's been a place to start for me. I hope this helps.

[ctdkm in reply to LoveMostDogs]

Nice to meet you, and thank you for being so thoughtful. I'm a senior, and social anxiety is harder for me too. My issues definitely stem from demeaning verbal abuse through my upbringing.

I've been trying different groups for a long while. There is one new to me, for depression and anxiety, that's been good. I'm pretty comfortable and I feel I'm making a friend there. Working on issues in therapy is good. Depression is making it hard to spark my passion for art, but lately it is feeling like that huge block is giving way some. I've dealt with depression my entire life, and I have had breakthroughs from it before. Unfortunately, every anti-depressant I've tried causes severe side effects I can't tolerate.

Gajh left me a reply asking me to post again, because of technical difficulties from yesterday. So I am going to save some of what I'd like to share for another introduction. I appreciate your username, LoveMostDogs, it brings me cheer. I'm a pet person myself. Yes, your post is helping.

[designguy]

I had social anxiety for years and have recovered. My suggestion to you is to look for a therapist near you that specializes in treating social anxiety, they can provide you with new skills and typically incorporate group and exposure therapy as part of the treatment. You may also benefit from medication at least temporarily. If there isn't a specialist therapist near you check out youtube for info and tips for dealing with social anxiety. There are also online programs, I particularly like the youtube and website of Sebastiaan at social-anxiety-solutions.com he looks like he has a lot of good information and an online program available.

Social anxiety stems from your faulty perceptions about how people perceive you and how you percieve them, you think that people are constantly judging you and paying attention to you but in reality they aren't and are caught up in their own thinking and lives and paying little if any attention to you. It also helps to determine why and how you developed SA, in my case I grew up in an emotionally abusive household and was also bullied in school which led to my developing SA.

You may also be suffering from low-self-worth and an inability to validate yourself, which is common with those with SA. There is a lot of good info on youtube for help with healing that for yourself.

[ctdkm in reply to designguy]

Thanks designguy. I'm glad for you. I've been in psychotherapy for years, and I know my SA problems are from all the belittling and humiliating treatment I received growing up. I was bullied in school too.

Frankly, I'm not seeking treatment from non-licensed people right now, like coaches. I'd really love to find in-person therapy, but they're hard to find even in a big city. All of the search engines I've tried, including my health provider's, are just lousy at finding you one. I'll keep an open mind and take a look at YouTube.

I will post a general introduction as soon as I can. I'm thankful for HealthUnlocked.