I have been diagnosed with GAD but..

[Chickienuggie]

so I have been diagnosed with GAD and that is something I am okay with. I feel like I can manage it well. I get anxious about different life things but I feel like I handle the anxiety more or less ok. Its not the most distressing thing in the world. Its v uncomfortable at times but its not very debilitating.

what hurts me the most and what drives me to insanity is whenever I get the exacerbation of GAD, I start to get these weird thoughts which I cannot even explain but they mostly revolve around uncontrollably and repeatedly checking my brain functioning. Like if I am having a conversation with someone, I intrusively start to try to remember the previous few words they said to check if I am actually processing the conversation. I know it feels weird to say it but it gives me so much stress. Another thing which happens with me is that I obsessively keep thinking about “there is no present moment” like if i am meditating, which helps with anxiety, this thought starts that what is a present moment, everything is becoming past each passing second. Its just a normal thought but it will keep going on and on and on in my mind so much so that I cannot sleep.

its such a weird thing because I dont understand these thoughts, anxiety on other hand I understand to a point.

these thoughts are the reason I have become so afraid of having anxiety. If I get anxiety I become very scared that all these thought loops are gonna start bothering me. It effects with my therapy sessions on GAD as well because during the session this thought loop starts.

[BlueAgave]

I get what you're saying about the present moment. My interpretation is that we are to be present at this time, not several hours or days from now and not in the past. It's tricky. Have you talked about these thought patterns in your therapy?