Is it right?

[sad_watermelon]

From the last few years, I find myself being the only one to go and talk to people most of the times.

When I was younger, I was very shy and I didn't talk to people at all and waited for them to come and talk to me. With time, I started realizing that I probably should go more and talk to people, so that's what I started doing.

Today, I think that 90% of the times I am the one who goes and interacts with people, but I'm starting to wonder if it's right, because everybody says that what is meant for you, will find you, and most of my friends and even my past relationship were made that way. I went to those people, I started talking to them, and even for friendships or relationships that didn't work, I'm grateful I had them, because I had a great time, even though it didn't end well, I had a really good time.

But I don't have people coming towards me, and it starts putting me down, I start feeling bad, I start wondering if what I'm doing is right, I start thinking if I should really go to people and talk to them or wait for them to come to me, but if I wait, they won't come.

In this new town, I really want to make some friends, and why not a potential relationship, if it's meant to be, and I find myself being the first one to interact with people. And I'm kind of tired of it, and I don't want to be alone, so I continue doing it, but I'm feeling bad and I don't know if what I'm doing is right, I don't know if my feelings are right.

[Alpakka123]

Hi there,Your last sentence touched me in a certain way. I've had to learn to trust my feelings as well. Please trust that your feelings are the right ones for you. Feelings are not black and white, right or wrong. In fact, there is no such thing as a wrong feeling. There was for my abuser. I felt the wrong thing, apparently, and she retaliated. It was really bad. But anyway... I'm going off on a tangent. The point is, that whatever feeling you have are the right ones for you.

Btw, your sentence"I went to those people, I started talking to them, and even for friendships or relationships that didn't work, I'm grateful I had them, because I had a great time, even though it didn't end well, I had a really good time." touched me as well. Particularly the part about it not ending well. It tells me that, even if things don't end well, it still means that we are good people. That if friendships don't work out, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with us/that we're 100% to blame for it going pear-shaped. So, thank you for saying this!!

[LoveforAll41]

I agree with Alpakka, you wrote "I started talking to them, and even for friendships or relationships that didn't work, I'm grateful I had them, because I had a great time, even though it didn't end well, I had a really good time." I think that answers the indecision you may have. Approaching people is great. I think we need more of it in the world, we are losing human interaction. I say keep it up, you have a gift. Of course you will get tired, and you will have to take care of yourself. Maybe it is a bit different since I am male, but I would sometimes approach girls I had just seen at church or in a class at school or something and ask them on a date. Maybe they would turn me down just because they didn't know me, or I was creepy or whatever. I think that they would be flattered in some part at least at being asked, maybe it would be a boost to them in some way. I think your interactions would be the same for other humans in your path. Maybe it isn't life changing, but I would venture to say that you'd both be better off for the interaction in some small way. Again to reflect Alpakka, you can't have wrong feelings, you do you, and follow a path that brings you peace. ☮️