People pleaser.

[Nunk]

I’m a people pleaser, have been for many years. I think it’s due to my lack of self esteem, I wish I could change but I can’t. My day totally evolves around getting positive feedback from people. Even now as I write this I’m wondering if people will react positively to me. It’s awful living my life like this but I just don’t know how to change. I’ve had depression and anxiety most of my life and try to live with it through medication but it’s hard. Constantly thinking what people think about me, do they like me, what are they thinking. It’s so hard living this way.

[Dolphin14]

Nunk

People pleasing has a deep root. Have you done any reading on where it stems from?

A member posted an article about two weeks ago that was very informative. I will see if I can find it for you

🐬

[Dolphin14]

healthunlocked.com/anxiety-...

[Nunk in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you, that’s very kind,, I’ll have a look at that.

[Liontint]

I feel your struggle. I have always had those self-esteem and constantly worry what people think about what I say or whatever my actions are. We have to learn to love and accept ourselves, but it is hard.

[Mark1499]

Boundaries would help but that’s just me.

Good luck!

[Nunk]

What do you mean Mark?

[gajh]

Well if you are looking for positive feedback here, I am glad to provide it. I am glad you have posted. It is very courageous to share your thoughts, feelings, and struggles.

[NanCeder5]

I feel this deeply as I’m also a people pleaser. It’s honestly exhausting. But I don’t know how to change. I’ve always struggled with my self esteem but I’ve had several life events over the past 5 or so years that have REALLY brought my confidence down to close to zero. I know I use my people pleasing efforts mainly to combat my self esteem issues. I’ve never had anyone “hate” me in my life, but recently a person (who is very toxic herself) has turned against me and is currently trying to turn everyone in my life that she knows against me, and it’s a horrible feeling knowing that there’s someone out there in the world that would prefer you not here anymore. People pleasing did not work on her and even though I know she’s a bad person on many levels and I don’t want her in my life, it’s given my self esteem another blow. Anyway, you’re not alone out there. I wish I had advice to offer you but I’m struggling with it big time myself. People have told me to focus on myself and stop worrying about how everyone else around me feels, but that’s so much easier said than done.

[designguy]

You might look into Codependency of which people pleasing is a major symptom of. There is a lot of good free info on youtube about it, what it is and how to heal it and learn to validate yourself.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Oddly enough while scrolling I came upon this and this is how I became a people pleaser. But in the video it's a dad. Mine was my mom.

instagram.com/reel/C_oiKzty...