Fury triggered

[Sitaqui]

I've been noticing that I might get too angry sometimes with my partner. For example, money is tight for us both, but more so his. We needed to order propane. I gave him my half of the $ to order a filling of the tank, scheduled within for the 28th. When they didn't show up, I called the company and learned that delivery had been canceled due to nonpayment. Twice that happened. There was an order in for the 4th that needed to be paid or it'd be canceled. I told him what they had said and he claimed it was paid. I asked him to confirm. Called company today and we're scheduled for the 4th so he seems to have paid. Ok so that's the bkgrnd. Now we're out of propane & have no hot water for dishwashing, etc. And I'm FURIOUS. I feel deceived, tricked, inconvenienced. I'm trying to figure out how to say this in a nonconfrontational way. "I feel like I was kept out of the loop re propane " is best I've come up with. I want to say, "hey asshole, not cool lying & cancelling & rescheduling w/out talking to me! Stop letting your pride/shame re your $ get between us! TALK w/ me and we can figure out together! Maybe I could have helped w/ $ more! Asshole. I despise it when you lie about paying scheduling cancelling & blaming the company or some mystery! ASSHOLE! I HATE YOU!" So yeah. Lots of fury. And i know logically that that rage is more connected to childhood deceit/denial from parents re the abuse & alcoholism i lived through. ASSHOLES!!! I was repeatedly told i was the crazy one & that it wasn't that bad. I don't want to dump unrelated anger on my partner. I want to communicate to him that i don't like what happened. How? What words do I choose? I should probably say it's a trigger. (We've been working on identifying triggers to lessen fights.) Thanks for listening.

[hypercat54]

If he is financially incompetent then you are going to have to take over payments. Tell him this and demand he gives you his share of the money and you pay it instead.

I can't see any other way out of it.

[Sitaqui in reply to hypercat54]

He's not financially incompetent. I think he feels bad not having enough $ anymore.

[hypercat54 in reply to Sitaqui]

If he is taking your share of the money and not paying it then the least he is is irresponsible. He is also hiding it from you too. I still think you would be advised to take over financial commitments like this.