I beg you to help me

[sad_watermelon]

As many of you here may have a lot of more experience than I do, I would like to ask you for an advice.

I'm admitted being a student in university abroad. My parents told me that I should study abroad or not study at university at all. So I decided that I will study abroad, of course, even though I didn't want to. So I found what I like, which is theater. And I found a specialization in performing arts. I gave my documents and now I'm admitted in that university. The problem is that this course is actually not gonna make me an actor, which I would like to be. I would like to be a theater actor and film director. And, of course, I would like to be a theater actor in my own country because I know so much about the theater in my own country. And be probably a film director abroad, as abroad there are many possibilities of making better films than in my country. But now I have this dilemma if I should apply to a theater academia in my country where I would really study theater and not cinema and theater and so many other small things, which won't make me an actor apparently. Because I read about it and it says that you should really study in an academia if you want to do this. And these courses of performing arts won't really help you become an actor. You'll have to make a lot more studies afterwards to achieve real success. And in my country I have the possibility to make three years of hard studies but become an actor in the end.

And the problem is that, first, I have given a lot of money because I have already booked a dormitory to live in abroad.I have spent a lot of money in this, and my parents would probably understand me, and would allow me to stay in my county's academia, but the problem is that that academia will take me a lot of money too.

Second problem is that for our academias you have to audition, which wasn't the case abroad. So I will have an audition, which will be a week after the beginning of the studies in the university abroad. So if I really want to be in my county's academia, I have to give up the studies abroad, and if I am not admitted in the, well, I will not have any studies for this year, and I don't want that. I really want to begin my studies. And I am really confused. What should I do?

I actually knew that performing arts wasn't that good and wouldn't make me become an actor, but the problem is that abroad in the country that I am going to, there are theater academias too, but they take only people who are born in the country and not foreigners. So I decided to ask here for any advice, because I am really lost, and I spent the last couple of weeks crying all day and all night, and I don't feel okay. I start having physical issues because of my mental issues, and I want this to end. And if any of you have any advice, it would be amazing.

Also, I have been thinking about spending one year abroad, and then if I don't like it, come back in my country, but the problem is that that way I will just lose a year. The only thing that kept me going there was the thought that I will find some good people, but when I found some really great people online that are in the same university but not studying the same thing as me, we started talking, and I just realized that I don't feel comfortable speaking the language, not because I don't know the words, but because there aren't the words that I use in my daily language in my country, and those little jokes that I make and those little lines that I have, they make me who I am, and without them I just don't feel like myself, I don't feel like I am in the right place, and I'm very confused now, and I don't want to spend a year there just to go back in my own country.

At the same time, all my family knows that I'm studying abroad, and they're so happy for me. I don't want to disappoint them. I don't want them to lose so much money because of me. They don't deserve that. I don't know what to do.

[Frub]

Hey there!

It seems like you know what's best for you, and all you really need is a push.

I won't really provide you with that push since I don't want to influence your decision-making, but all I would like to say is that since you already know that studying abroad will probably not get you to your end goal, staying back in your country, and pursuing the course there might be the best outcome for your situation. You will lose the money that you've currently already spent on the course, but, and a huge but, you'll be saving the money you'd otherwise have spent on it, had you decided on spending an entire year there!

No, you will not be disappointing your parents. They are your parents and they love you. They might be taken aback by this, but I'm sure they will understand. They will have no other option. And they for sure will appreciate your thoughtful decision-making once you actually get where you want to be!

Take that leap. Stay back if you feel that's the right option for your career. Even if you feel like you might have to take a break if by some chance you don't clear the auditions. A year spent at home, knowing it's the right thing for your career, would be better than a year spent elsewhere in some college, where you'd have no clarity about where your career is heading.

And, as far as money is concerned, you will be doing it justice by going ahead with either of the two choices:

By staying back, you'll be saving everything you would have spent on the entire course (apart from what you have already spent)

By going, you'd be gaining a handful of learnings (if you feel that that college would add value to your career)