As long as a man can see the light at the end of the tunnel, they'll do whatever it takes to get to it. As long as there's even a fraction of a possibility for salvation, a person will either make it happen or die trying. That's what I believe hope is like, when it exists.
But what if it's just not there? No "fake it till you make it" crap because that's just delusional honestly. It's just a constant that was always there, is always there, and will always be there. There's no loving that constant, you can't really love the pliers that rip off your fingernails as torture. You either have to accept that this is your life now, or you don't live it to begin with. How does someone accept that? And why would someone bother?
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MiamiJacket84
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For me, looking forward to possibilities arising and the hope connected with that desire keep me going. I believe in life after death. Are you without hope? Are you safe, MiamiJacket?
Safe. I have hope for several things, but not for this. Hoping for this constant to disappear is the equivalent of hoping that gravity would cease to exist on our planet to me. This being my inferiority complex.
I have thought I have an inferiority complex too. So we can work it out by doing things that make us feel confident and strong. Do you use affirmations? Might want to give that a try… I like for myself to say, “I am worthy.”
I felt that way the first times I tried it. After a while it seemed less fake, less and less weird. But I’m definitely not pushing you, do what is right for you.
I am sorry you are feeling so crummy MiamiJacket... Life can be the pits for sure. My wife likes to tell me "you know it will get better right?" And it can sometimes without real work being done, but it always goes back to crappy too.
I think all of our depression/anxiety stems from self-worth in some way. I think if we can accept being average or hell, even below average, it actually is empowering and gives us hope that we can not get things right initially and grow. I think the "death of the self" is the real goal, where we don't need self-esteem because there is no self. I think this is a Buddha concept...
Please get help if you need it.
What is your story like? You have tried many different therapies and counselors?
Yes I have, which only proves my point. I've improved in so many aspects but this one thing has been the exact same for years, it's not going anywhere. Regardless of whether I'm fine or mad or sad, it's always there.
I am glad that you feel you have improved in a lot of aspects, that sounds encouraging.
I think there is a very real possibility that all of those therapists didn't have the tools to help you with feelings of inferiority. Like you said "you can't really love the pliers that rip off your fingernails as torture" but maybe we can like things about them. Do those feelings of inferiority keep you working hard? Do they motivate you a bit like a chip on the shoulder? (where did that saying come from?)
Would it be acceptable to feel a little inferior but not so much? Like change it from 100 to 30?
For me this makes accepting the things about myself that are prone to make me anxious/depressed palatable. ☮️
Ah, I get that. I have so many feelings of self-loathing, so often, for things that I would find no fault in for others. When I get depressed and don't talk to my wife or anyone and retreat into hating myself and wishing I weren't and she looks into my eyes she says it looks like I want to murder her 😔It is just the self-loathing looking out though
For me it's not about "winning", it's about doing a little better each day, leaving lasting positive changes. Neglecting yourself because of a pessimistic point of view will not really make it easier to move on forward with your life ahead. Seeking support and staying connected with others can bring you to come to terms with your situation without overthinking what is your place in the world at large. Life comes at you fast, so it's about not taking things for granted.
I have struggled for some years now in my life. I’ve had some very good years too, where I felt that the efforts I put into life did return all that I need and more. But in recent years it seems my efforts in the world don’t bring back what I need. It does have a rubbing effect on my feelings of self-worth, especially when I start to compare myself to some ‘external younger source’.
Someone told me to ‘not internalize’ it.
There are multiple points of view from people and institutions around us that send us a ‘reflected’ image of us. Not always appropriate under our circumstances or individual condition.
I like the idea Rafael brings about not neglecting oneself. Having good days and bad days, if we can find small ways to respond while making something better for ourselves it’s worth it.
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