Sever Depression, Anxiety, intrusive thoughts and bipolar disorder

[DCHAM]

hi! I have been depressed for what feels like my whole life. Recently, I thought it might be from gender dysphoria but I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and bipolar one. I have been told that I rapidly cycle through manic and depressive states. I just feel extremely uncomfortable being alive. Never happy or comfortable and I’m constantly told that there is soo much work that I need to be doing but no guidance as to what that work looks like. I’m open and receptive but everything is just becoming very repetitive and that’s leading me to believe I’ll never get better or that I’m being gas lit to keep going and striving for a better that doesn’t exist. I have been in and out of crisis units and they haven’t been a lot of help. I’m just at the end of my rope and I’m tired of blowing up my life because I’m not content with existence. Can anyone relate? Is something wrong with me? Am I hopeless and why not? If not?

[blackcat64013]

Hi DCHAM,Thanks for your post.

I am hoping life will be easier with your diagnosis.

No-one is a hopeless case.

If you find some books or do online research in bipolar disorder, you will see what you are experiencing will be symptomatic of the condition, others have dealt with it before and there is treatment available.

The trick for your doctor is to work with you on the best way forward.

In the meantime, the forum members are able to support you with coping at this time. 🐈‍⬛

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Look for a W.R.A.P (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) class in your area. One of the things you will do in class is a daily maintenance plan. My daily maintenance plan includes eating breakfast, taking a shower, snuggling with my dog, listening to music, etc. It's just a list of everything I need to do on a daily basis in order to stay healthy. Here's a link to an overview of the WRAP plan. shareselfhelp.org/wp-conten...

Recovery takes times so be patient with yourself. When you find something that makes you feel good like reading a book, listening to music, or snuggling with your dog, repeat that behavior every day.

Thomas Edison said about his invention of the light bulb, "I haven't failed -- I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." It sounds like you have found a few ways that don't work. Don't let that cause you to give up. Success may be just around the corner.

Your local N.A.M.I. (National Alliance for Mental Illness) may have peer-to-peer classes. Talking to someone who has been where you are may be helpful.

Here's another link for W.R.A.P. wellnessrecoveryactionplan....

I did my W.R.A.P. plan years ago and I have found it very helpful.