I was researching psychiatrists and i found a nice lady in university city that specialises in anxiety and has even studied psychotherapy. But i need to ask my doctor for insurance so i can visit this doctor tomorrow without having to pay (i don't even know if mom paid my insurance). It's too late to ditch my job interview and i wanted to visit a doctor here and get a document from uni. Maybe having a doctor in my city is better but they're not so good. And i have to travel at 9 in the morning which means probably not sleeping at all especially with the busses not going to the train and bus station. I should have done it this week but i was paralysed from anxiety. I don't even want the job rn but if i don't find something in my field, it's my best option. It's probably good idea to go to a psychiatrist in my city but the psychiatrists in my city need a psychiatrist. I'm scared of getting my meds messed up. And they don't have this website where i can see which doctor is available, book a session, contact them online, see more about them and their qualifications and if they take insurance. But i could still contact the psychiatrist online and have a friend ship the document to me. I don't need this document asap. Im paralyzed in fear. The psychiatrist i found has free time around 4-5pm and i have a train home at 5-6pm and her office is really close to the station. But i still need the insurance and I feel bad to ditch the interview because if i don't find anything in my field, that's the best option. Even if I do find something in my field this is probably better. But despite all the "work so you don't have time for anxiety", im not well enough to work. It's more "be anxious so you don't have time to work". I want to go there and explain to them i love the opportunity and that im not betraying them to work something else, i just can't work rn because of my health. Even though my family wants me to work with my degree, i still appreciate them. That's why i need a psychiatrist and a therapist (and i have to save for therapy) so im able to work. So the choice is stay here, get my document , call my doctor in the morning and ask for an insurance to visit this doctor, then go home. Or. Catch a bus at 9:30, go home, have the interview at 2pm and seek for a psychiatrist there or ask to see this psychiatrist online and my classmate to send me the document when she comes home from the seaside. Both could go wrong with this online thing. I'm so overwhelmed. I was supposed to rest here and im going home worse.i was supposed to rest here and im going home worse and with messed up sleep schedule. if only i didn't apply or asked for Tuesday.
Edit : I just read other patients' comments and some are not delighted