I shouldn’t be ashamed of myself, but I slightly am

[97Bunny11]

today I had to go to my old workplace to pick up some meds for my brother. I didn’t want to go there until I was at a certain point in my life, but I’m clearly not there yet. I was a little embarrassed when my old boss an coworkers asked me how “work was going?” Or “How school went?” They meant well, especially since before I left, I told them that I would be going to school for graphic design. That didn’t happen due to financial reasons. I know it’s not my fault, but I still feel shameful when someone asks me how work is with good faith, and I have to dodge the question because I’m not working right now. I’m self-studying (and I think I’m finally ready to apply to jobs, thankfully) but it still feels kind of shameful.

I’m trying to combat this feeling by thinking of what I have accomplished so far, but I can’t help but fall into the same old “What are people thinking of me?” Mindset. Even though I know that these people probably don’t care or don’t think that way and just wish the best for me.

[litethatnevergoesout]

I know it’s hard, think of something positive. there’s nothing to be ashamed of. it doesn’t matter what people think of you what matters is what you think of you and you can do something about that.

[97Bunny11 in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

thank you ❤️ I needed that

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to 97Bunny11]

You’re welcome.

[Mohammad-341]

Please think that u r not answerable to these people. When they are not able to help you in this situation why should u care about these

[Alpakka123]

Hi,I hear this. It's really really hard to not think about/care about what others think of us, but it's essential to our mental health to try not to care. To say what Mohammad-341 says in a different way, we are the only ones we should have to answer to. Only us and no one else. I've dodged many a question because I was ashamed of the answer. Not only was I ashamed, but I was afraid that If I told them the truth they wouldn't approve. Why should I care about that? (Rhetorical question). I'm learning to not care so much.

If I've had to do this and you've had to do that, don't you think others have had to do the same thing? I can guarantee you that even the very people who asked you that have things they are ashamed of as well. I can actually do you one better and say that we all have things we are ashamed of for how they worked out. The words shame and guilt would not be in the dictionary if they didn't exist everywhere.

[Cooking_nut]

Just remember that you don’t owe people explanations, especially these people who are really not a part of your everyday life. A simple, “Doing fine. How about you?”, is an easy way to get through these interactions.