Can't go on.

[svenson]

I am an 80+ year old male, had 3 heart attacks, suffer from leg neuropathy, diabetese and struggle to walk.

I am the carer for my wife who has Alzheimers, and has constant hallucinations, and can do little.

I shop, cook, clean, look after house and garden, and all my wifes needs.

I am anxious, depressed, lonely and just exist. There is no point in life, caring for my wife has kept me going, but now have heart failure, and can see no point in living, the future is only going to get worse.

Anyone see a glimmer of hope? My GP practice is of no help, been promised councilling for 13 months still waiting. I don't want to wake up in the morning.

[Vonus5591]

Can you not get in contact with social worker for help? Perhaps carer?care assistant?

[Dolphin14]

svenson

I'm so sorry both you and your wife are having these enormous health issues.

You must be exhausted caring for her. Your illnesses require good self care and I'm sure you are not getting much time for yourself.

Is your heart failure stable at the moment?

Are there programs you can apply for to get some assistance in your home?

🐬

[bethelbee]

Sorry you are dealing with so many challenges, Getting counseling shouldn't have to be one of them. If you can't get counseling through your GP, have you considered online help? I see you're in the UK but here in the US we have Better Help, which is an online platform. I looked them up and I believe it can also be accessed from the UK. Look up online therapy in the UK. Many have had success with Better Help. Hope you can get the support you need and wishing you some peace in your life.

[Rafibromylygia]

Hi sorry to hear Have you tried to get help

Through gp

Also Maybe phone council as well Ot assessment Also

Social work

There is help out there

Maybe phone gp again for help

And council

Maybe get carers in

Hope you get the help soon

[b1b1b1]

you need to be provided with an aide to help take care of your wife, prepare simple meals and tidy the house. Such help is available in the US and I believe is covered by insurance. Is there anything similar in the UK? You should not go on like this. Try to be more demanding and lay out the situation clearly to your doctors. Also speak to social services, again being very clear about the situation. Tell all of them you absolutely cannot go on given your health issues. I would not be afraid to exaggerate a bit. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. xx

[glenninindy]

I know some couples who live in an assisted living apartment together and they do alright. Nursing help comes into their home. My Grandfather, took care of Grandma in their 90's until he couldn't lift her anymore. He didn't want to, but eventually, he had to surrender her to a nursing home, where he faithfully visited her everyday. They were faithfully married for over 60 years. When she passed, I would drive him to her grave, and he would always say, "I'm coming Rose." I layed him next to her 8 months later.

[brendahol in reply to glenninindy]

that is one of the saddest stories, but also one of the most heartwarming. We should all be blessed with the love your grandparents had. You sound like you are just as caring. They are together in heaven. God bless you❤️

[Arymretep]

Do you have a social worker , get back to your Dr and make them understand that you cannot carry on like this as you are not well yourself, and say if you dont get help you,ll both end up in hospital , don’t be afraid to ask

[Mohammad-341]

Hats off to you. You are working so hard at this age for your wife

[brendahol]

Sir, please take the advice of the previous posts, they are all good suggestions. We are from a generation that does not ask for help, but it is time. I wish you peace. We are all here for you.❤️

[Cavalierrubie]

Hello Sven, it’s good to post and get it out to people that care and understand what you are going through. It is a big dilemma for you to cope with and you should not have to deal with all of this on your own. I cared for my terminally ill husband at home and it’s very hard. I had lots of help then via my GP., and you should be entitled to the same care. I would make an urgent appointment and go and see him regarding your situation. You need domestic help and then your mental health should improve. I had district nurses visit everyday to help. Social services should also provide assistance . They will come and evaluate your needs. Don’t battle on alone. Don’t be too proud to ask, it’s your right. There is help out there if you ask for it, which will enable you and your wife to be at home together and cope. Love and prayers.

[svenson]

Thank you all for your advice, it is good to hear from caring people, I don't feel so alone and I will have another try perhaps with another GP, and social services. God bless you all.