"we go to work and school and you do nothing, we are tired" or how i can't stand for myself

[Against_the_current]

Hi. Always problems. Mom's going to grandma's house to attend the court for inheriting a huge debt and sis has exams and i was happy i could stay at home without mom but sis wanted to invite her boyfriend to study and I messed the plans. Nobody is talking to me, i need info to make a decision. Mom and sis were furious at me and turned out they're furious because i had to make a decision whether to go with mom and go to university city and my accommodation i hate so she can have her bf or stay and she could study at dad's or somewhere else. I was paralysed and mom was just yelling at me "we go to work and school and you do nothing, we are tired, we just needed you to make a decision". But i need info for the decision. I hate my accommodation and at home i hate when family is here and i had a chance to be home alone. I would sacrifice myself for sis but turned out she didn't want me sacrifice but to tell her what I've decided. I was paralysed by them being mad at me. I feel like im going to vomit. I was paralysed till now and that's why I didn't text

[cashew78]

You do what you can, when you can. As long as you said you needed more information so you can make a decision, you did the right thing. If they didn't respect that, then know that there are people in the world who will, you have just to meet them. If conflict makes you uneasy, that's good to know. Conflict makes everyone uneasy. If it affects you terribly you could reach out to whatever services are offered at your school or in the community. It's difficult, but it's a start. Good luck.

[Against_the_current in reply to cashew78]

My school and community don't care im close to the edge for like 4 years. Community doesn't care or exist. I don't think they even heard. I just need them to let me it when i can. But noo i do nothing. I need these people to come so we can live together but apparently they're miles away

[SoporRose]

AtC,

I'm sorry things continue to drive you nuts. I imagine that you all have some entrenched problems communicating with each other. If your family didn't give you information you needed and for which you asked, I hope that next time they'll have a better understanding of what you need to know.

If you are, as you write, the one who "messed the plans," I trust you apologized and will do better next time. It seems to me that this experience gives you another reason to let go of that accommodation. If you give it up, then everyone will know where you will be and won't ask you to move back and forth. If you're not being asked if you're going back to your accommodation, you won't have to make decisions about whether to go, decisions that always upset you because you hate living in that room and become very ill whenever you try to stay there.

Is your mom right that you are doing nothing? If she is, finding ways to help around the house will make you feel more like the adult you are and may ease some of the tension between you and your mom. I know it won't fix everything, but even a small improvement in your relationship could take some pressure off you.

I do hope you all are able to get past this blow-up and breathe a bit more easily again.

I continue to believe in you.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

I am helping around the house but to her "i do nothing" since i was born. I hate her. I hate her. I hate this situation. I told her i hated my accommodation, she said "find a new one, you do nothing anyway" so i guess im not welcome to go back to home. I want it too even even with the insane abuse. I don't deserve this. I would be someone much more different and "useful" if they didn't abuse me all the freaking time

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

I am so sorry.

[Tracey0101]

That's awful for you sorry for you and no one should treat you like this especially your mum. I am struggling badly at the moment so I don't know what to say but we are here for each other.

[Against_the_current in reply to Tracey0101]

How to bear that? It's terrible