Nutshell version...
I'm very proactive, I have been experiencing certain measures of success in my personal life by being this way.
Two resources that have helped me tremendously through the years (and I have needed and received a whole lot more than two resources on this life journey).
I have had a history of angry and fearful temper, anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, neglect and abuse.
A person can turn better corners, and they get to do the work to make it so.
You start where you start, and then you keep at it as you are able and willing.
How good can it get?