Hi

[Sadness4]

I was abuse when I was 14 I am know 30 and those memories hunt me every day of my life I have 4 kids I am just so scared that I can happen to my kids I am taking antidepressants but I am still hurting inside I think about it all the time.

[Hidden]

I understand. I was abused too and it did happen to my 4 yr old daughter. I had a mental breakdown afterwards but I am okay now.

[Sadness4 in reply to Hidden]

That's my biggest fear. I am glad your ok know

[Hidden in reply to Sadness4]

We unfortunately don't have control when they aren't with us but I educated my daughter early and she told me right away when I picked her up.

[Sadness4 in reply to Hidden]

That's what I been telling my kids everyday that what ever happens they have to tell me.

[Hidden in reply to Sadness4]

You're doing the right thing, just stay vigilant.

[dore13]

I hope you are addressing that in therapy. You don't want to project your fears on your kids. Children are extremely intuitive. They sense things more than you know!

[Sadness4 in reply to dore13]

Really I haven't really looked for help just recently told my doctor I really don't k ow how or where to look for help.

[Hidden in reply to dore13]

I say project on to your kids. They need to know they can't trust anyone. My daughter was abused at school and I did everything to prevent it.

[Sadness4 in reply to Hidden]

Omg really that makes me even more scared. I am so sorry it must have been so hard to go thru all that I can't even imagine.

[Hidden in reply to Sadness4]

Yes. I guess my breakdown was because of that. I will never know. She was so young that she hardly remembers. She just says he shouldn't have done that. She will be fine. It is scary. We are totally helpless in that situation.

[Sadness4 in reply to Hidden]

That's just terrifying. So sorry

[pink83737]

Usually what we fear most doesn’t happen. Hang in there! It all will be okay! Prayers.

[Sadness4 in reply to pink83737]

Thank you ...

[Hidden]

Im so sorry ☹️ this is one of the reasons why I’m so scared and avoiding having children

[firedancer64]

I’m very sorry about what happened to you. I’m struggling through a rape crisis myself right now. I don’t think I’ll ever recover. Gentle hugs 💜

[Sadness4 in reply to firedancer64]

It's a very traumatic event but you have to have hope that you will be ok. I am sorry for what happened to you hugs

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to Sadness4]

Im sorry you had to go through that. You are not alone. Please get the help that you need. Seek professional counseling. You can and will get through this.

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to firedancer64]

Please tell someone. Anyone. If you can afford it seek professional counseling. Get your attacker behind bars. You will feel whole again but it takes time.

[Sadness4 in reply to Sunnidayz1]

I did tell my husband and sister as well,but they really don't understand how painful it is.

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to Sadness4]

They dont know bc they didnt experience it. You need a shoulder to cry on. A listening ear. You need to get all of those feelings out. It's part of healing from trauma. Can u afford counseling?

[Sadness4 in reply to Sunnidayz1]

No not really

[firedancer64 in reply to Sadness4]

I wish you all the best. I wish I could help you.. and myself. Gentle hugs 💜

[firedancer64 in reply to Sunnidayz1]

It’s a very complicated situation. I can’t press charges as the attacker is my 1st cousin. I’m still in shock & confused how this happened. I’m embarrassed & don’t want to be the talk of the family. I’m a complete mess & feel like this is just a terrible nightmare. It’s all so surreal. I feel broken.. damaged.

[Hidden in reply to firedancer64]

I can relate to your situation so much and I’m so sorry 😢 I understand what you’re feeling. Hugs x

[firedancer64 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you 💜

[Hidden in reply to firedancer64]

💜 please try to look for help.. I bottled it up for years and it completely messed me up. See if there’s any help or free groups .

[firedancer64 in reply to Hidden]

I’m trying.. seeing my regular psychiatrist but not an actual rape counselor. He’s kind. But not really experienced with rape. Have appt tomorrow for f/u with HIV prevention clinic. I’m sooo humiliated. Thank you for caring

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to firedancer64]

Im so sorry! I agree w hope4321. It will mess you up if u dont get counseling. Get the help and then once that happens & u feel you have the support, press charges.

This is not something the brain "just forgets" it will stick with you for a lifetime if you dont get help.

Dont feel ashamed. It's not fault.

[firedancer64 in reply to Sunnidayz1]

Yes you are definitely right as I am not getting over this. This is my “2nd” rape!!! I’m going insane! 😢.. thanks to everyone for listening to my filthy secrets. Gentle hugs 💜

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to firedancer64]

Im sooo sorry. My heart goes out to you.

Please get the right help. The right professionals.

Please dont call them filthy secrets. The criminals who did this to you have filthy secrets, not you.

[firedancer64 in reply to Sunnidayz1]

Thank you for your compassionate kind words... I guess I just feel filthy.. the situation feels filthy, disgusting, repulsive, humiliating.... I just feel so defiled & have no support with the exception of 2 close girlfriends via text. While I appreciate their time, advice & opinions & just feel sooo alone with filthy secrets that I’m keeping for this lousy cousin that raped me. I just cannot be the talk of the family! .. not again! 😢 hugs 💜

[Sadness4 in reply to firedancer64]

I know exactly how you feel I was abuse by my stepfather and my family never believed me so they just pretended I never said anything. I am sorry i hope you find some support. Hugs

[firedancer64 in reply to Sadness4]

Thank you for your kindness, empathy & support.. I feel like I’m a daze .. just going through the motions.. paralyzed.. not fully present ... just existing. Hugs 💜

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to firedancer64]

Im so sorry.

Please dont be hard on yourself,ok?

No matter what, please get the help.. do not allow the shame you feel to get the best of you. Dont do it, ok? It's not your fault. There is help out there. Please look into it.

[firedancer64 in reply to Sunnidayz1]

I’m trying.. I really am. Have a f/u appt tomorrow for more preventive meds.. then I’m supposed to be escorted to another building for meeting with a counselor. Hard opening up to strangers. I feel anxious & judged.

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to firedancer64]

These counselors are trained professionals that see & help people through these situations. They r not going to judge you in fact they probably will commend u on being so strong and couragious. You r going there for YOU and for no one else. Dont give up on yourself

[firedancer64 in reply to Sunnidayz1]

Thank you so much for your support & words of encouragement. Hugs 💜

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to firedancer64]

<<<<hugs>>>

[Hidden]

Hi, if you are in the United States look into your county’s mental health programs. There should be something available such as counseling. There are also nationwide crisis lines that can help you receive mental health services.

[firedancer64 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you.. 💜

[ksquig]

EMDR therapy can be really helpful working through a trama.

[Smokes67]

Hi my name is Carmine,i do understand your pain but know that nothing that happened was your fault.You have four children that in itself is an amazing accomplishment you should be proud.Please hang in there it will get better.