Recently my former best friend and my grandfather killed themselves 9 months apart. I can't really talk about it with my family ( we don't get along well) and I don't have anyone else to talk to since I'm no good at making friends and I don't want to burden anyone.
I'm super anxious and stessed about everything. I feel like I have no idea of what I'm doing and the only things I'm doing I'm doing wrong. I don't want to let anyone down but the pressure is crushing me.
I joined hoping to find understanding people to talk with and helping others with my love and support.
Thanks for taking the time to read ❤️
Written by
Andromache-it
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Have you tried to manage the anxiety by turning off all distractions and tightening all your muscles reeeally tight the releasing them a couple of times followed by a few slooow breaths in, as deep as you can, then hold the breath for a few seconds, then a loooong slow exhale . I use Inhale: 6 seconds, hold: 3 or 4 seconds and Exhale 6 seconds. After a couple of muscle tightenings, I do about 3 -5 of these 6-3-6 breaths and the anxiety starts to come under control.
I've found it helps to practice this breathing a few times when I'm NOT too anxious so that when the anxiety gets bad I'll remember it easier. Hope this helps. Just one of many tools that help.
Do you have access to any talking therapies? You are brave to have spoken out here!
Having a 'witness' to these things you're going through can be very important.
Are you able to talk to family and/or friends about this?
I can't even imagine how you must feel. This is one of the main reasons that has stopped me from doing something so extreme.
Just keep talking about it. Here if nowhere else. You've come here and reached out. That's a good sign of your strength. You will get tones of empathy and understanding from here I'm sure. Keep writing.
Thank you! Years back I used to see a psychologist but once I started to feel better and getting myself together I stopped going. Now I don't think I can get myself to go back. Maybe because of shame maybe because of the memories tied to that period of my life. So I keep convincing myself, or maybe it's a fact, that I don't have the time. The thing is I don't think I'm ready to tell someone everything...
I recently tried talking to my family about it, thinking they would understand under the recent circumstances, but they kind of dismissed me so I don't feel comfortable talking to them. As far as my friends are concerned, I usually try to be happy and cheer everyone up when I'm with them and I don't really open up to people because of other stuff that happened to me.
In any case it really means so much to me that you are here and you know that there are people caring deeply for you. I wish my friend knew.
A bit at a time. But make that time for yourself. Somehow.
I do think that even a few sessions with a counsellor, just to get some feedback and guidance/ideas, or simply to get things 'off your chest' could be helpful. You don't need to be specific or detailed. A small hint would probably suffice.
Often looked at as for the 'weak' and with many jokes made about them, I have found crisis lines like The Samaritans really helpful when I've been desperately struggling. You can remain totally anonymous and say whatever you like, whatever is going through your mind and you can hang up knowing you will probably never speak to or hear from that person again.
I am so sorry for what you have experienced. It was devastating for our family when my cousins decided that life was no longer worth living.
As ninja suggested, would it be easier to go for a couple of counseling sessions? Can you committ to one session where you can expose the outer layer of the onion of what you are going through?
Do they have support groups in your area for grieving? I had been going to a support group for depression and it helped me.
Try not to let people put pressure on you. Your mental health is more important at the moment.
P.S. I had been to Italy many years ago. People are very friendly even though I couldn't speak the language. 😊
I'm sorry for the losses you have experienced. You are not a burden. I'm a deeply spiritual person and I can assure you with total confidence that your friend and grandfather are safe and sound on the other side. Suicide is a complex subject, but it really hurts those that the people leave behind. You are important. Your life is important. You don't have to bear the weight of your feelings alone. I am glad you reached out and shared. If I could I would give you a hug. Please know that you are not alone, there are many of us here that understand what you are going through, and we care. Love and peace.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Hi
Hi
Hi
Hi 
Hi
