Dealing with past actions regarding attempts

[Dot2]

Hello to whomever is reading this. I decided to end my life several years ago and attempted. After many years of therapy and applying a new modality in thinking I'm not sure I processed my own actions yet, and was curious if anyone else had similar issues? Today is particularly rough as I'm in training for peer support and we touched on the topic of suicide and to a lesser extent depression. It struck a nerve with me I wasn't quite able to get a handle on. It took me about three hours to wrangle with the insipid thoughts but I've managed to calm down and back to a more hopeful frame of mind. Thanks for reading, your comments are appreciated.

[tommy2toes]

Thanks for the support in response to my own post, now I suppose it is time for me to offer my input.

Firstly, look at things on the upside, and realize that your survival gave you years of extra life, with both the joys and challenges experienced therein.

Secondly, and this is something to which we are all fallible, try and keep things in perspective. To paraphrase the classic British comedy group, “one swallow does not mean it is spring.” In other words, on tough days, please keep in mind that whatever follows will be better.

Finally, on a day to day basis, make an attempt to master your brain box, and not be its slave, in that on occasion, it can get things garbled and lead us down paths that our sane selves know to be erroneous.

Regards

t2t (tommy2toes)

[Dot2 in reply to tommy2toes]

Thank you Tommy, you put it succinctly. I do have better days ahead. And in retrospect the bad days I have these days pale in comparison to what I was experiencing years ago. Really, thanks mate.

[cashew78]

If I may suggest that your response is perfectly normal and natural. Traumatic things, no matter what they are nor what their root always hold a space in your mind. If something happens that pokes that space, it's going to poke back. For me it's when they just pop up out of the blue that gets me. I'm lucky that, with at least one attempt, the story around it was so surreal and bizarre that I can't help but laugh about it; this robs it and the other attempts of some power over me. As nice as that is, and as much of an advantage it can be, it doesn't mean I've fully processed the whole thing well or appropriately. I remain open to that processing when it comes up and, for myself, I don't think there's an end-point to it, just long term management. I wish you luck 🙂

[Dot2 in reply to cashew78]

Hey brandon78, thank you. I do find comedy to be the best medicine. Your last sentence really resonates, as for years I longed to be over depression and over anxiety. And while I'm not about to be bed fellows with them I can treat them as room mates. A certain way to act and think when they present themselves. Thanks again.

[Dot2]

Thank you Ifallis, to be honest, I turned away from the cloth at a young age. But I can still appreciate and value the message there within. I may not pray any more but I will contemplate your words. Thank you again. Peace be with you.