it doesn’t seem easier as time goes by

[Kmd90]

I am still on my path of self destruction. People say get help. People say there’s support for you. Yes, there is help…but I can’t do it. I’m calling out for help to my therapist, but I can’t do the appointment. The hospital will only give me drugs and some guidance, but not enough.

I hide myself from the world and I want to fall apart. Drink and smoke until I can’t feel anything. I’m tired of being in pain. The one person who can help hates me. I broke her heart and her spirit.

All I want to do is fall asleep and never wake up. If a car hits me or someone wants to hurt me, I won’t stop it.

I’m sorry.

[jassmint]

Hang in there mate. Hang in there a little longer, just a little longer. One day the ice will thaw and spring will come. Just try to eat and sleep and exercise until that moment. The wheel always turns.

[hypercat54]

Well you reached out here so give us a chance to help you. Once you get used to talking about your issues here and get all the support we can give you then it will become easier in real time.

You are far from the only one here who has wished they would get hit by a car, or didn't wake up in the morning. The trouble is it rarely happens so don't count on this.

Once you can open up you will realise that therapy can help you and there isn't only one person who can. That's depression talking. Those thoughts are false as is the thinking that you are a burden to others. You can't possibly know this unless you ask them and this is called magical thinking. Look it up.

Of course you can continue if you choose on the path to self destruction and yes some do but I can't see the point in punishing yourself any more can you? You are suffering more than enough as it is.

Like I said in my last post you can't change the past. As you didn't respond to me I wonder if you saw it? And did it help?

Am sending you an alert so I know you will see this.

Kmd90

Give us a chance,

[Shnookie]

if U live in the U.S., please call 988 crisis hot line. They R supportive and compassionate. If U live in the UK, please contact the Samaritans. We’re supportive here at HU.

[PoseyLane]

All I can say is that I am in the same boat. In top of it I live with a very toxic husband who does not care about me. Yes, I want to fall asleep too. I am tired. I get it.

[catsrock]

I'm very sorry you are having such a tough time. I hope you find some relief soon. I totally get how you're feeling as I've been there myself so many times. It sucks. Please call a hotline. Glad you came here to share.

[countryboy1]

wow, I can feel your pain and frustration. I can only speak about me healing. I am on meds so I have a psychiatrist. She prescribes me meds. But I also have a talk therapist, she listens to me. Perhaps you can consider adding the talk therapist to your psychiatrist. Also I try to focus on my own self care. I have started going to the gym and getting in the pool. Do something for yourself that you like. I would avoid spending money. Do you like the sun? Go to the park on a sunny day. Sometimes I go to the florist, I don’t buy anything but I walk around and smell the beautiful flowers. Go very slow with yourself and please don’t be so hard on yourself. You are probably an amazing person, give yourself a chance.