New to this group

[sunshinefan]

Hi all. I am new to this group. I am not new to mental illness having been diagnosed since 2006, but in the last two year, my depression has gotten much worse and landed me in the hospital 5 times. It also has me having a new diagnosis of treatment resistant depression. I have tried many medications, therapy, ECT and now I'm looking into changing my diet, TMS and Ketamine. I'm at my wits end having tried so much and still not feeling good. What has worked for you all?

[LoveforAll41]

I am so sorry sunshine, it is so exhausting looking and looking and finding no solutions. I have had tremendous success with ketamine and ketamine assisted therapy. I finally was able to let go of looking for worth in finding "success" in doing things, and now I feel free. I was also in a treatment center for a few weeks before that. It sucks that many treatments are expensive, but I would rather be broke than depressed. If ketamine is not a cure all for you don't worry, there is still more to try. I wish you peace in your journey☮️

[Bee1232]

hi sunshine, I know exactly what your going through. I used to keep my mind occupied by pouring myself into work. You could look up positive thoughts and repeat them, maybe post them around your house. Think of how things could be worse. If your religious maybe talk to god. Maybe Keep a journal. Never underestimate the Power of positive thought. Do a puzzle. These are all the things I do. Keeps my mind occupied. I am currently 5 months off my medication for the first time in 25 years😵 it’s been crazy! I stopped the meds because they just were not working anymore. I have became so immune to them. Considering going back on them. They say if you’re off for a while it changes things. I just worked sooooo hard to get off them, it gives me so much anxiety to think about going back on them and not working and having to quit again. 😮I too have been to hospitals. It seems the older I get the harder it is to occupy the mind. I know this prob didn’t help but I just wanted you to know your not alone😊

[CalmSeeker1]

Hello sunshine - it's sounds like you have tried many different things and have a plan for new strategies. I have struggled with depression off an on for 30 years. This recent episode has been terrible combined with extreme anxiety. I've been pushing myself to do things differently this time and my depression has lightened over the past couple of weeks. In addition to medication and working with my psychiatrist closely, I've done the following: weekly therapy, transparent conversation with my spouse and trusted family members, working out with a trainer, 10 min walks, completing small/short tasks daily, forcing self care (even if it's just brushing my teeth daily), 5 min meditations, distraction, online support groups, visiting this support group daily, getting out of bed daily, learning about depression & anxiety (YouTube and podcasts). The really hard thing for me has been accepting that I can't make this depression or anxiety go away. I have to accept these feelings and learn to live my life despite them being with me. Some days it is just impossible. Others it is easier and I feel more like myself. I'm having more easy days and trying to focus on those. Recovery isn't linear and setbacks don't mean I'm returning to square one. I hope your new treatment plan brings you relief and you start having better days that bring you some hope.

[Hidden]

WELCOME TO THIS AMAZING GROUP OF SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE.

I AND I’M SURE MANY OF US ARE SO IMPRESSED WITH WITH YOU.

FIVE TIMES IN THE HOSPITAL BATTLING LEFT AND RIGHT. DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO TRY TO FIND ANSWERS.

YOU’RE SOMETHING ELSE !

The way you stick to it. VERY IMPRESSIVE!

I’m also bipolar, as I read your bio, and fortunately for me I am diagnosed as mildly, although my symptoms have been at times very accentuated.

I’ve been to the hospital one time when I was at my wits end , the one thing I did find out about through my life travels of this mental health challenges world I’m in, is that I was severely medicated

So I would have one question for you . All the medication that they tried to help you with. How do you think they did with dosages?

Much love

Craig

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Under medicated

[sunshinefan in reply to Hidden]

Craig-

Most of the medications I have been on have been maxed out. I get to the top dose and it works for a few months and then stops working. I don't want to die, but I do get SI quite often, but my family is what keeps me alive and going. If I didn't have them I wouldn't be here.

[Hidden in reply to sunshinefan]

Very sorry to hear about you maxing out the meds. That sucks!

I’m jealous that you have a supported family. Mine has been anything but. I’ve reached out to them multiple times to try to help me figure out what was wrong with me and each time they ran for the hills

[sunshinefan in reply to Hidden]

I'm so sorry about your family. I realize I am really lucky about having a supportive family. I'm so grateful for that. I feel bad for putting them through hell.

[Pitalife]

I feelnyour pain,I have severe anxiety n bipolar depression that has been acting up alot lately, I can't turn off my kind and have racing rambling thoughts, that is very disabling to me,I have only have 3 friends left and there thousands miles away...I hope this group gives you somevrelief,I've found some good folks here..hope u do the same..

[Teaching]

Welcome to the community!

[languageteacher]

Hi! I've personally had a severe OCD which started a long, long time ago when I was studying at the university. Luckily, I passed my Master of Arts degree, but after that my OCD symptoms were so debilitating that I had to go to a psychiatric hospital where I was for years WITHOUT any help actually. So finally, I was referred to a neurosurgical operation called anterior capsulotomy, which helped me.

I'm writing this to you because I do remember the times when I was very depressed and hopeless. After my surgery, I've studied the various alternatives there are in many countries for severe mental disorders. You mentioned TMS, Ketamine, ECT. Is it so you've undergone ECT and if so how was it? I have not had ECT but I've spoken with persons who have had it with good results. Having had a neurosurgery, I very well understand that some people can be afraid of ECT, but, in general, the modern technique is very safe, no need to be afraid.

[sunshinefan in reply to languageteacher]

I have handled ECT very well. I have some memory loss, mostly people's names. I also get a headache after each treatment. I know ECT comes with some bias and tends to have a bad wrap, but I have had good luck and it is the ONLY thing that has taken away my SI.

[bethelbee]

Hi sunshinefan! I was on meds for decades and did have success for many years but a few years ago became treatment resistant. The last few I tried either didn't work or gave me intolerable side effects. Luckily my therapist recommended TMS. It literally saved my life.at one point. I've had 3 rounds. The positive results of the first two lasted about 6 months each and the 3rd is still working after just over 2 years. I've had some setbacks but only because of other health and medical issues. If I hadn't had TMS I'm sure I would have really spiraled down. It is a big time commitment, usually 5/wk for 6-7 weeks but each treatment is only about 20 minutes. That has been my experience.

[sunshinefan in reply to bethelbee]

unfortunately because my actual diagnosis is bipolar 2 with treatment resistant depression I don’t qualify for TMS because it could make me manic!

[bethelbee in reply to sunshinefan]

I didn't see your BP diagnosis until after I posted. I know TMS can have that effect....

[languageteacher]

I was here last time a long time ago. I'd like to ask how many of you have decided to attain the Annual OCD Conference (by IOCDF) this yer?

[languageteacher in reply to languageteacher]

I attended the Conference on-line.