Hello everyone! I'm new to this group. I am old with my mental health diadnosis under care of a psychiatrist. Ive been in continuous counseling for almost 15 years.
My family life is in a shambles, and I would like any suggestions or tips. I want to keep my marriage and stay close to my grown children who are 31 and 28 now.
Thank you in advance!!
Welcome GAD100 to a caring supportive community of friends.
You have taken the first step forward in getting the understanding
and help you need from others who have gone through the same thing.
I'm happy you are here with us. 
xx
Thank you, my virtual friend! I have had a lot of complications from my illness and have had a rocky married and faliy life. Im constantly anxious and depressed, and work is hard at times. I have a counselor I see every week. IDK what else I should be doing...
Thank you
GAD100, there are many things you can incorporate with counseling. Medication
and therapy are only a start. As long as the situation around you continues, you either
have to change it or accept it for what it is (in order to get better).
We can do that by learning other methods/tools to carry with us each day.
The Mind/Body Connection is so intertwined that we need to calm one down in
order to calm the other and get some peace.
It took me a long time to find the right combination of methods I could do each
day along with therapy and medication. For me, it has been daily Meditation and
Breathing both upon awakening in the morning and before sleep. It must be a
a continual practice until our subconscious mind accepts the new concept of what
we think. As our mind is healed, so will our bodily symptoms.
Never give up, always believe that your goal is in sight. Time and Time alone will
bring you to where you want to be. We've got you new friend. xx
I know, my friend, I have done some CBT and breathing exercises and slowing down even at work while walking the hallways...it hekps me, but not really. My mind is in 100 places at the same time so meditation or prayer never worked for me, unfortunately
That's okay GAD, we all react differently to the methods out there. I would ask
your therapist to give you some ideas or maybe homework that you could try
between sessions. For me CBT never worked but I didn't give up. That was just me.
I've also had hypnotherapy, mindfulness training and on and on. YouTube became
my "go to" in finding so many helpful videos. Again, the thing is taking the time and
not expecting overnight success. The situation around you is stressful, eventually
you will find something that works for you. This community is a safe and helpful
one where we can learn from each other. Breathe my friend Listen and read what
others suggest worked for them. Try it yourself, discard what doesn't work for
you and move on. Never, ever give up. There is a solution waiting for you to try xx
i'm no expert but this is what im learning about my situation:1) you say that your mind in 100 places - i think for me it's helped me to recognise that different parts of me are fighting and polarized about the best way forward. my adult rational mind is struggling to calm these parts down. listen to each of your parts - whether thoughts, feelings/emotions or body sensations. what are they trying to tell you ie what are they anxious, fearful etc about? don't judge or force down whatever it is.
2) everytime you are in your head shift your attention to your body and where you are feeling this and listen to your body - this is not easy but keep doing it . not meditation but look inside with interest and try and listen. the more you resist the more it will persist. ask how old are these parts and how old do they think you are
3) explain to your family what you're feeling be honest and show them your vulnerability. that you know you have to help yourself and they can't help but you would really value their support and understanding.
4) do some reading/listening to understand of what is happening to you. and share some of it with your family.
this is something that has helped me understand and it's free:
theanxietymd.com/ he has podcasts which explain anxiety
benjaminfry.co.uk/post/2-yo...
he has blogs & videos.
i have realised and these sites and many others agree that many mental health issues stem from what happened in the past particularly during childhood. everytime there is a change or we are trying to control the uncontrollable in our present life some these past memories get triggered and it's like the event is happening in the now.
none of this easy is and requires a lot of work but there is no other way. you can't suppress it and you have to process this stuff. a second, a minute, an hour at a time. these big emotions aren't evil/monsters they are parts that we learn to ignore/suppress in childhood because as children we didn't have the tools to deal with big emotions. but hopefully now as adults we bring those tools to help our child selves.
which begs me to ask what has you counsellor(s) been doing for 15 years.
this is my learning and excuse me if this doesn't apply to you.
i wish you all the best with your journey.
Thank you so very much for your advice and guidance, nila1. I will definitely try to incorporate some of this in my routine. Since I have Bipolar 2, my therapist tells me that a lot of such people have stray/random/thoughts at a rapid pace and they find it hard to stay on one thought.
As far as 15 years of therapy, it has brought me personal insight, helped me deal with untimely and sudden death of my father (that put me in a real deep depression, grief and prescription Rx use with alcohol). She has helped me stay sober and gives a lot of other day to day guidance.
welcome GAD. You’re brave to share your struggles and address it. Prayers up to you.
Sorry to hear you’re predicament if you are following you’re counselling and need support any further assistance would talk with you’re adviser about you’re self care plan or activity which may lighten any burden or misconceptions hope you resolve any worries or concerns
Are you on any medications? If you've been in continuous counseling for 15 years and your family life is is still in a "shambles", is the counseling doing you any good? That's the longest I thinkk I've ever heard of anybody being in continuous counseling. I've been in counseling off and on for over 50 years (I am 76, diagnosed with depression in college and now treatment-resistant depression), seen at least a dozen or more counselors over that time. One counselor actually helped me, 3 or 4 in retrospect were actually harmful, the rest a waste of time. I know many people have been helped by counseling, but do you think it is helping you?
very good question on if something after so long working...a listening ear is good too. thank you for this..
Dear Friend, my counselor has become more of a life coach. She knows my life inside out, and also knows my family life. So I have a great comfort level in seeing her every few weeks on a continuous basis
I have tried 3-4 month weekly counseling on top of my regular counseling for alcohol related counseling, and other situational stuff.
In sum, counseling helps me, I get to open my heart and pour my heart/mind out to someone in a 1safe sapce'.
Gad100 how are you today? i read your post and i didnt feel so alone. go thru the same thing and do believe a life PTSD for me also exists. Health issues sure have taught me compassion i thought i had previously. glad to chat when im online.Thank you for stepping up, you have now turned the issue to helping me....ty.
jackiesj, thanks for the support. I am a medical professional. My work is super stressful. So, on top of generalized anxiety, I have a formal diagnosis of Bipolar Type 2, depression, and maybe a borderline narcissistic personality. All this makes it very hard to function. I am on a lot of meds. What can I say ? Chat with me when you're next online, please!
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