Spotlight effect

[EricJones]

My name is Eric and I have a lot of social anxiety and paranoia about others looking at me and counting my flaws. I feel like I'm in the spotlight effect, where everybody is gawking at me and looking to see how strange I am. Can anyone help me with this feeling?

[LoveforAll41]

Howdy bugsramsey (I will address you by your user name) and welcome! I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. It is so hard when we feel people can see our flaws... I had a really tough time when I was bingeing and if I didn't see someone for a week I could literally have gained visible weight before seeing them again. That was really hard. People have their own problems and worries though, and usually don't notice us. If they do it will hopefully be because they care about us. I always recommend the book "Feeling Great" by David burns and the Feeling Good podcast. There are good ways to go about exposure therapy and shame therapy I think they call it. There is also a book called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***" by Marc Manson (I think) you may like. I wish you peace in your journey

[Midori]

Hi Eric, Welcome to the Community!

OK, everyone gets this feeling, but you seem to have it ramped up to the max. To be honest, people really aren't that interested. If they comment on something, or just giggle , I can categorically assure you that by the time they've walked to the next corner, they will have forgotten all about you, and will have totally different thoughts in their heads. You will have vanished from their thoughts.

Why? It is because people are more interested in their own thoughts and wants than what they see around them. They also have very short memories for things which flash through and then are gone. Please try not to worry so much.

Do you have a therapist?. might be an idea to find one for reassurance, if nothing else. Hope this helps a little,

Cheers, Midori

[EricJones in reply to Midori]

i just feel that everyone is waiting to judge me, and are steadily reading my body language to see if its strange or not

[Midori in reply to EricJones]

They really aren't, I promise!

Cheers, Midori