Does anyone else do this?

[Gillyflower18]

I need to slow down physically but I can’t because when I do my mental health problems take over and become overwhelming. I’m killing myself physically trying to avoid them. I should be able to slow down a little now that I’m older but if I do the darkness, rumination etc take over. What do you do?

[LoveforAll41]

Hi Gilly, boy, I can relate. In the dark days there were times I would bike 6 miles to the university, workout, go to classes, go to lacrosse practice, go hang out with friends, bike home, then get up at 5 or so to run as i was training for a marathon. I finally crapped out from school. I was running running running because I thought exercising gave me worth. It is not sustainable.

I think the only solution is to sit in the darkness until your eyes adjust. 😜. We have to get comfortable with what we are running from. I finally have realized that I cannot earn worth, and so now I can sit and actually do some days without a workout. I actually haven't missed for some time because I don't feel I "have to" exercise at all. I just like to, and it helps reduce my sweating during the day. You can find the way. ☮️ I always recommend the book "Feeling Great" by David Burns and the accompanying podcast.

[hypercat54]

I would stop running away from it because they will always linger on and possibly get worse. Is it time to start facing your demons instead? That's the only long term way to sort them and bring you some peace.

Not sure if you have tried therapy?

[Gillyflower18 in reply to hypercat54]

Yes I’m in therapy now with a very good therapist. I need to broach this subject with her. I think I tend to hide things too much. This is a real problem for me for many reasons.

[AlwaysSweet]

Same... I feel like I'm not allowed to take breaks because nothing would get done in the time frame (that only exists in my head) that I want it to be done in. So I keep going and now I feel like I'm falling apart. But I don't have time to.

[Gillyflower18]

Yes twinkly I’m already pouring over seed catalogs. I think winter is extra hard because I miss my garden. At least I find peace there and something to occupy my mind.