Empty Arms

[Lilyfield]

Wow, I really don't feel like sharing my story at the moment. I joined because I am going bonkers. My world is shrinking and I am frightened, sad and lonely. I feel utterly hopeless.

[Agora1]

Lilyfield, you have come to a very caring and supportive community.

Dear one, you can share your story at any time when you feel more comfortable.

Meanwhile, I'd like to Welcome you and let you know that I'm happy you found us.

Sending a gentle hug to you xx

[Sunrisetabby]

Hopefully HU will help you find that spark of hope - it absolutely has for me. Is there anything that you can do that makes you happy? Do more of that and focus on you and what workers for you. I know when my world is going "bonkers", I find it helpful to try to laugh at myself and my insignificant problems. Star therapy ie simply looking at the stars can be very helpful in that regards. Wishing you courage to calm and untangle your fears, and sunshine to give you some warmth.

[Craigliving4Jane]

welcome lilyfield

This group is some of the most compassionate, bright and flat out caring bunch I’ve ever been around.

When ready let us know how we can help you feel there is not only hope but hopefully a path to relief

Much love

Craig

[Dolphin14]

Liltfield

Welcome to the community. We are here to support you.

I read your bio and you certainly have quite a bit going on.

Don't give up hope. You are not alone

🐬

[Weatherwoman]

Hello: Not sure that I can help much, but after reading your post, I see that I can relate to what you wrote. I, too, am struggling with loses --Lost my Sig. Other of 27 years a little over a year ago. Two years before I lost him, I lost my Mom. My Sig. Other & my Mom were my Anchors in life, and now I am living All Alone, and aging alone (I am 79), and am lonely & Scared! Lost one of my Dear friends --we were friends since we were 12, lost two other friends of my Sig. Other & me, (one just two weeks ago). I used to have lots of creative energy writing poetry since I was in high school, self published books for friends & relatives. Like to crochet, read, sing, going to craft fairs, etc. Now, everything, place reminds me of All the times out with my Sig. Other, can't even listen to songs as just cry! Oh, I don't want to depress you more; but, just know you are not alone in your feelings. It's a long story, but I am now living in Only on my Soc. Security, and a small studio with no stove & a small refrig. I don't drive so taking Paratransit, & Uber (which I really can't afford). Suffer from Anxiety/Depression (mostly Anxiety, but now turning to feeling depressed, as well)! Have some family, but they are not very emotionally there! Have some friends, but they have their own life I find that it's SO hard to make new friends as most our age are set in their own circle of family, friends, etc. & it's hard to "break in," so to speak! I do know that I need to get out more & Push myself out which I do. Taking a couple of classes soon at the Senior Center. Have a Grief Support Group, but they all have children, and support that I don't have! I would hope that you could rekindle your creative energy, meet people who share your interests. HU is a caring & understanding community. Hugs sent your way!

[JazzyCat730 in reply to Weatherwoman]

Hello Weatherwoman,

I am so sorry for your losses! Your post struck me. I have suffered a lot of loss too and am aging. It is very hard to feel happy but I try and push through. Not much family left, well....guess I should say I never had a close family as I'm sure there are lots of family out there but when my mom raised us she didn't engage much with family so we didn't get to know them. It didn't matter much when I was younger but now that I'm older it does. Too late now.

I have been a poetry writer too for most of my life. I used to just write for me then as I got older I started exploring getting my work out there. One poem published and I'm working on getting a book published one day.

It is true about making friends when you're older. Hard to "break into" their circle. Don't give up. I find that even if I'm not a long-term friend some will welcome me and invite me over for dinner, etc once in a while. I live in a 55+ community.

The classes at the Senior Center sounds nice. I say do more of that when you can. Perhaps you can meet someone who is in your shoes. I know you're not alone.

Sending Hugs to you and hoping things get better.

[Weatherwoman in reply to JazzyCat730]

Thank you for your post --I, see, we have things in common. I would like to see some of your poems, but, I will understand if you don't want to share as you don't know me. But, if you'd like to share & write more about you, feel free to do so in I guess the "chat" place. I am "Tech. Challenged," so don't even know the term, but I think, it's called the "Chat Room," on HU! Yes, as they say, "Getting older is not for Sissies! We lose people, have health issues (most of us), have difficulties getting our faces to look okay for videos, etc. (I am speaking for myself here), etc. Oh, yes, we do gain wisdom, usually, know Now what we wish we would have known Back Then, appreciate the little things more! Classes I am taking at the Senior Center, so far, are Really good & I enjoy them! Getting out more, walking, & have to make sure I have time to rest, too, so I don't get overtired --Balance, as they say! It may not be too late to get closer with your family if you want to. I am not very close with my family (most of them), but then I am not sure that I want to as have been hurt a lot by some of them --emotionally hurt! Yes, hope things do get better!

[JazzyCat730 in reply to Weatherwoman]

Hi Weatherwoman,

I would like to share my poetry with you. Will you share yours too? That creative expression is so enriching. I get inspired so can't really just sit and write poetry. Even so, the inspiration comes often and anything can trigger it.

I'm glad you are enjoying your classes! It helps. Finding balance is important.

I love the wisdom with aging but dislike everything else. I don't take pictures anymore because I feel my face is weird now. I just don't look like I used to when I was younger and videos....oh no, don't like them either.

I am sorry you've been hurt by your family. I can relate. I have an older sister (13 yrs older) who told me she was always jealous of me because of the way I look. We have different fathers, my mom married twice. She told me this about 10 years ago and at the time I didn't know how to respond. What am I supposed to do with that information? What was the reason she told me? I thought about it for quite some time and decided to let it go as it wasn't mine to carry. It made me not want to spend time with her and gave me clarity on some of her treatment of me in the past. We only get together for Thanksgiving and Christmas and I'm okay with that.

I will tackle the chat and see about sending a poem later this evening. Hope you are doing well.

[Weatherwoman in reply to JazzyCat730]

Hi: Just got on my computer & thx. for your post. I will look at the other post you sent soon! Will send some of my poetry, as well. I just can't write on the "spur" either. Used to write A lot more & poems sort of just "came to me," & I can't get that Inspiration much now! I don't know what has caused, maybe too many meds. over the years, maybe getting older, maybe --who knows --a number of things, I suppose. Never had a Sister, just a Brother so No jealously on looks, anyway. Your Sister being 13 years older could have been a part of the reason --could have been jealous of your younger looks, or position in the family, or? But, you are right to let it go --better for your mental health, I think! I think you are about 15 years younger than I am & to me you aren't Old! I Hate to take pictures of me now & feel I have Aged Terribly since my Sig. Other got so sick, then my taking care of him for nearly three years, then his passing aged me SO badly. I have deep wrinkles around my mouth which cause me to feel not attractive anymore! I do realize this is superficial thinking on my part, but can't help how I feel. I used to say to Mike (Sig. Other) look at my wrinkles, and he'd answer, "What Wrinkles!" Maybe, his eyesight was getting bad, but the way he said it was So loving! God, how I Miss him! Of course, we don't & can't look like we used to, but still it does hurt our self esteem! Ok, going to look on other post you sent me.

[MaggieSylvie]

I think I know what you mean by "empty arms" and it's ok to feel what you feel, but remember, if you can say you are "bonkers", you really are not. Actually I went through all of that, and the "bonkers" was down to unexpected, early menopause. You can PM me if you like.

[Teaching]

Welcome to the community! You can share your story whenever you comfortable doing that. You are loved!

[JazzyCat730]

Oh Lilyfield, I hear you and understand your struggle/pain.

The first positive step is reaching out here where it's safe and there are others who can relate and offer support.

I am at a stage in my life where I'm feeling alone too. I do still work but that's it. I lost my mom and brother many years ago and my other 2 sisters barely talk to me. I have friends on the west coast where I used to live and we keep in touch a little. Not many friends where I live now, just acquaintances and this may sound odd but I dread when the nice weather comes because that's when everyone is getting together with family and friends. It's the time I feel the most alone. I write and I love jazz music and reading. Still, I am reminded by the fact that I'm aging and things are not the same all around, especially my body. Sigh!

Is there a local library where you are? My library has free classes and activities for seniors, children and teens.

I hope things get better for you.