This post will be very hard for me to write, but I must know if anyone can relate to this.
My father growing up was always abusing alcohol and various drugs, which made him act a certain way. He was never alert and was very fidgety and almost hyperactive. This type of behavior is what started my anxiety disorder, and it made me take over in my own emotional support, and act as a parent for me, my mother, and my father. So from the youngest age I can remember, I was forced to be my parent which in the long run has ruined my whole life.
But recently, my stepdad had gone under knee-replacement surgery. He came home to recover last night, and the way he acted under his medication was similar to how my dad acted growing up. I could not interact with him, and I did my best to stay away from him. But it was like an alert going off in my brain that felt familiar. I later had a meltdown and had trouble soothing myself the rest of the night. Today, as I reflect on what happened I self-diagnosed this as a type of PTSD, which is so scary.
Has anyone had a experience similar? What have you done to help yourself through it?
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Penguin1220
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can relate to having triggers that make me get really anxious. And I believe that our bodies are telling us to get out of danger when we have these PTSD reactions.
I know it's so hard to judge what other people are doing to affect you this way.
The best advice I can give you is to be patient and compassionate with people, but mostly with yourself and to make sure you don't put yourself in a situation where history is going to repeat itself or poses a risk to your well-being.At the same time, I don't know what your stepdad is like and maybe he's not going to be the same as your own dad.
Just be cautious and remember that you have to take care of yourself first and foremost.
I hope things work out well. Sending you lots of support and healing thoughts.
The self-soothing skills used in DBT might be helpful for this. Essentially, anything that connects you with your 5 senses can help to pull you out of the fear and back into a more grounded state. Smells, tastes, textures, calming/uplifting sights. The goal in those highly triggered moments is just to survive it. The crisis survival skills from DBT could be helpful as well. They use lots of acronyms (ACCEPTS, IMPROVE) which all have steps that can calm your body.
Once you are feeling stable, I think you could tell your mom/stepdad that you were reminded of scary/stressful moments from childhood, maybe explain that it's not his fault directly, and let them know you're going to give him space while he weans off the meds.
But also, being triggered sucks, and not being able to get away from a trigger sucks, and sometimes all you can do is hunker down until the storm passes.
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