Feeling lost

[Devilsreject54]

Anyone here experienced in life-long anxiety issues?

[Agora1]

Devilsreject54, many of us have struggled through lifelong anxiety and others

feel as if it's been a lifetime because of all the years lost.

There comes a time when we can no longer blame ourselves for not achieving

what our family wants.

Even families don't come with the same carbon copy. It's time to accept yourself

and not allow their rejection to direct your life anymore.

Welcome to the forum xx

[Devilsreject54 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for the reply, and the welcome. What if I have always believed that I was a "mistake" that was never accounted for?

[Agora1 in reply to Devilsreject54]

How sad Devilsreject, to think that you were a mistake. No one is a mistake.

Everyone comes into this world for a reason. Just as you meeting us now on

this forum. It was meant to be. I was a foster mom for many years. Do you know

how many children feel unwanted or as a burden? All humans want to feel love.

If not given to us by our parents/guardians, then we must find that love deep inside

of us. Know that you are worthy of that. You are worthy of being who you were

meant to be. None of us need approval for that. I'm so glad you have joined our

community of caring virtual friends. Hopefully you will realize that you aren't

alone with your feelings. xx

[Kinlay in reply to Devilsreject54]

Jumping in here. My Mother actually told my sister she was a mistake and she almost aborted her - multiple times when she was growing up. That has haunted her for her entire life. Most anxiety disorders stem from childhood - often childhood trauma and they often coexist with CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and depression. I know I can easily trace mine back to infanthood. I can't help wondering if there was something someone in your family said or did early (or more recently) on to make you feel this way. Please believe that they were wrong, and whatever they did or said is inexcusable - and on THEM, not you. You are an important person in this world, simply because you ARE in this world, and you deserve to feel worthy, as we ALL do.

[Devilsreject54 in reply to Kinlay]

Thank you for your support. I would rather at least know the truth and deal with it as I choose, than to not know or to find out from someone else. There are too many things about my childhood, upbringing, and even the way I am looked at today, that always point to the question...why am I even here? And it has definitely affected me negatively throughout life. I'm thinking I may need professional help.

[Kinlay in reply to Devilsreject54]

Absolutely! They will help you understand what you are thinking and feeling and help you find ways through this. I'm not sure if you are on any medication, but that can also help, especially when you hit particularly difficult patches. HANG IN THERE!

[Devilsreject54 in reply to Kinlay]

I'm really tired of hearing the "just take a pill and leave us alone" mentality. Isn't big pharma great?

[TyrSwimmer_Sac in reply to Devilsreject54]

You aren't alone feeling that way. I have a huge family yet I have always felt like the odd one out. Even more I was very different from my siblings and all the drama going on 24/7 growing up has followed us into adult hood that has severely affected my mental balance to this day. Professional help isn't a bad thing. I got it and took to therapist, medications, and support groups to learn coping skills with like minded folks. This place is just one.

[benmaise]

I have been anxious all my life. I can remember being anxious as a small child.

[beckydriscoll in reply to benmaise]

Me, too, and that was decades ago. The Polio scare.

[optimismrus]

Like an onion, you will need to peel away the layer upon layer of defenses you have grown. You needed the layers to survive but now you're waking up. This is the good part. You will need to do the work to become your own person. See a therapist if you haven't already. The right counselor will help you find the answers. Keep a journal, put it ALL in there. Read books that are recommended. You are 54 years young and you have a better life to look forward to. Put the energy you spend stuffing your feelings, into finding help. Excuses not to get help are the jail cells we build for ourselves. I'm glad you found this site! We want the best for you . 🥰

[Devilsreject54 in reply to optimismrus]

Kind of hard to feel like I have a better life ahead, considering mine is half over or better, and my parents still don't truly know me, or accept what they do know about me, and they will not be around much longer. But thanks for the rainbows and lollipops.

[Adlon57]

I am near the end of my innings , terminal, broken skull, irreparable brain damage, aged 67, but ALWAYS been ill all my life, always been so close to achieving so many things, but health always held me back, have 142 IQ, can't drive, now can't travel, wanted to go so many places see so many things, had to educate myself, late achiever, always felt myself a real pain in the ass, friends and especially relatives caring me through my bouts of illness, wasting their time looking after me. Always felt should have been "put out to grass" left school early was destined to be put in a home [epilepsy, amongst other things🙄], many many times, should have been left there😒Devilsreject54 it's been a hard journey👌

[Pitalife]

I have n suffer w crippling anxiety my whole life,it's ruined my life along w bipolar depression 60yrs old n just wish it be over..onto that i suffer w chronic pain.