Cat's death, Work

[aWorriedOne]

I want to thank everyone who replied to my initial post about the loss of my cat. It's been almost a month now and I'm still hurting, but I'm not breaking down every single day anymore. I got her ashes last week and I think that was what sealed the deal. I felt such denial, all of her things were still everywhere. I expected to see her every time I walked into the house, expected to see her when i woke up. I still hear the occasional 'crunch' and it sounds like she's eating her food, or a shift on my bed of her jumping up. They get me every time,I let myself cry, but I don't let it take me over.

I'm struggling with bad depression now. I got a good job for the first time in a very long time right before she passed. I've been able to use all of my energy to go to work. I can barely leave the house, I eat maybe once a day, and I am having a hard time taking care of myself. I just wanna escape away into my computer at all times, but I have to work. This job is crucial, it pays so good, but it's over time weekly, 6 days a week soon.

I miss how excited Lulu got when I came home smelling like chicken from the processing plant. She'd want me to stay still forever as she sniffed every centimeter of my hands, hoodie, pants, and especially my shoes. Chicken was her favorite. I regret not getting her chicken livers when i went shopping the day before she passed. Maybe she would have been able to enjoy a yummy meal before going.

None the less, this sucks. At least i dream about her every night. Before her passing, my dreams were always filled with running after her, protecting her, and looking for her. Now, my dreams just have her. She is just there. I'm not panicking and rushing around looking for her, I'm not trying to protect her from some big dream baddie. I just lay there rubbing her belly and giving her kisses, even if the dream is entirely scary.

I know i'll make it through this, but I am just so tired. Its draining trying to stay happy at work and to make good impressions on my superiors and coworkers when all I wanna do is sink into a black hole.

A appreciate everyone and their kind works on my prior post.

[Yumz199725]

Aww so sorry for your loss x 💔

[Agora1]

aWorriedOne, I am very sorry for the loss of your furry friend.

We grieve in our own way but it hurts. Time may eventually make

the hole in our hearts a little smaller but it will never erase the memories

and love we have. xx

[Arymretep]

So sorry to hear about your dear cat, grief is the price we pay for love , but it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all , think of all the wonderful times you had together , she will always be in your heart 💕

[Naturegirl60]

My condolences to you 🙏 It hurts so bad losing such a loving pet. I can still tear up losing my poodle and Ben has been gone for years. They are no longer are in pain but the miss we feel, it goes on... Time does help the healing and when I think of Ben, he is always with me as your kitty will always be with you. Sounds like you were both very fortunate to have had one another for the time you had together. Guilt, I know it too well. It changes nothing. All it does is stops the healing. We beat ourselves up for no purpose other than to punish ourselves caused from the pain. It serves no positive purpose, at all. Allow yourself to remember the good memories with your cat and remember the love you gave each other❤️

[catsrock]

Thank you for letting us know how you're doing. It's so hard when we lose our fur babies. Again, very sorry for your loss.

[bethelbee]

So sorry for the loss of your kitty. Everyone grieves differently. I lost my 18 year old to cancer in August and though I wasn't sure I was ready I adopted two bonded sisters a month later. Holly will always be in my heart but I was able to find room there for two more. I still haven't washed the blanket Holly slept on on my bed.. Your kitty will always be in your heart...

[AnxiousCanadianChic]

I know exactly how you feel. I had a cat for almost 18 years who was my everything and when she died I was a complete mess. I don’t have kids so she was my kid and was the cat that I was the closest to (I have had cats all my life). It will get better but will take time. Let yourself grieve while at home, it’s something that helps us. Sending you positive thoughts 🩷

[Vasiliki99]

So sorry for the loss of your cat and sorry about the fact you cannot comfort her it's nothing that they can do they are these put of our control and they are sad things that we are powerless against and this is reality and so awful I wish we were feelings happier n better