How to support partner during hard times

[kanzler1987]

So my partner and I struggled with mental health issues, and when one is down, we both are down. How can we help each other and build each other up?

[LoveforAll41]

whew, it is so rough sometimes for me and my wife. I get depressed for a week and just sleep, eat, and go to work. She is then overrun by the kids and I get feeling better and she is fed up and needs to vent, she vents then I feel like I am failing her and get depressed again. She has OCD and has had some depressive episodes so she understands some of it.

I think that it is very important that we don't need our partners to "solve" our problems but validate our emotions.

Even though I don't agree with the level of cleanliness and order my wife likes (with three kids under 7) I can understand that cleanliness is very important to her and try to help. I can also empathize that the chaos is frustrating. I try to suggest she go to therapy or take a break but her OCD means she worries about the kids too much to leave me with them all (ouch). Instead of feeling like a failure I need to try to empathize and step up my fathering.

Sorry for the long message but I thought an example might help. Couples therapy might also be interesting, but I think listening is the biggest thing. It is good to let them know you are there no matter what (to a point). I also think that therapy is the best, and I am not against drugs either (prescription). I wish you both peace, hope, and strength. ☮️

[Arymretep]

My advice is just be there for each other when they need you, just because you are together doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything each other does or says, it’s good to have different views and opinions, empathy is so important, but above all is talking to each other about how you are feeling.