Tired of 5 years of struggle.

[guitaristepiphone]

Hey, y'all I am tired of falling a million times and picking myself up again and again since 5 years for anxiety and depression. Idk what to do. I will turn 20 on thursday. Last 5 birthdays were shit. Just getting more and more demotivated. Makes me wanna quit forever.

[PeaceNeed]

Thats the illness talking. Im 64 last 6 years have been total sh_t. Look into anything to treat your illness.Be on guard against anger and alienating people. Thats the only advice an old man can give you.

[guitaristepiphone in reply to PeaceNeed]

64, dude! You have lived your life mostly. I am 19 (almost 20) and haven't lived it.😞

[PeaceNeed in reply to guitaristepiphone]

I basically isolated myself in my 20s. Read books, built models and collected and horded stuff. When the illness finally hit me was when i landed a job in a construction union. They tore me to shreds.Try if u can to find something to do while your young dont give in i did years back and now im collecting the emotional interest on that misinvestment.

[guitaristepiphone in reply to PeaceNeed]

Oh. Sorry to hear you also went through those many years sinfe 20s. Yes, I am finding something of my interest. Btw I am a guitarist. I own one electric and one acoustic guitar. Was a topper upto 10th grade until this illness came. Now 12th passed barely and college dropout. All years of hard work in water.😞 Maybe it was caused by porn mainly idk I was exposed so early at 14 and continued till 19. Now I have quit or say in the process of quitting. I took toxic stress of studies too from 5th grade to 10th grade. Idk what the causes are :(. It is like I can forgive myself for stress but not for watching porn.😞 Btw I was traumetized still watched don't know why.😞

[PeaceNeed in reply to guitaristepiphone]

Ive read and heard porn can be as addictive as nicotine. Youre a musician.....play those guitars ....healthy distraction.I had too much shit thrown at me at too early an age.

If you can find a good trauma specialist. I hope the best for you.

[guitaristepiphone in reply to PeaceNeed]

Yes, Ima play guitars. Thank you so much!!!!

Which shit were you exposed to?

I am already consulting a psychiatrist, he does psychotherapy also.

[LadyZen]

Sorry to hear you feel awful. My twenties were a really rough period. But it got better. It will for you too. Hang it there.

[guitaristepiphone in reply to LadyZen]

Thank you!! Please see my reply up there. I really wanna know what caused my illness. I know there isn't a point but you can find my reason in there.

[RottieFlood37]

Happy Birthday Shubh2003!!! 🥳🧁🎈🎈🧁🥳

Don’t quit now! You have so much to live for. So many unlived experiences and unmet people that could change the course of your life for the better.

It sounds silly doesn’t it? Earlier today, I bathed for the first time in 7 days. I hate acknowledging that aloud but I think I’ve come to the realization I need to acknowledge things out loud; even when no one else is listening to me, I am. Hearing something aloud versus thinking it has a different effect on me.

I have an extremely hard time with my depressive thoughts in the AM. It starts before I can even open my eyes in the morning; it makes it hard to get out of bed. I also suffer from debilitating back/hip pain. And combined, having the mental wherewithal and physical energy can take days, weeks, and sometimes months.

Last night I barely slept, so today was bound to be magical, right? Someone suggested an “I DID” list in this community and today I created one. I’ll share it with you, Shubh2003. Today, I DID:

•Take a bath

•Feed my dogs breakfast

•Get up before 8AM

•NOT take any naps

•Hang out with my younger sons after school

[gajh in reply to RottieFlood37]

Hello Rottieflood37 I just wanted to congratulate you on your remarkable "I DID" list. Well done. That is a huge success. I hope you are giving yourself credit for it.

[guitaristepiphone in reply to RottieFlood37]

Thank you RottieFlood37 !!! Yes, acknowledging is difficult but as you said helpful. I shall try this one out. Sorry to hear that you also struggle a lot. Let us get well together! Thank you for sharing for "I DID" list, helps a lot to create mine too. One thing though all of my friends are ahead in life (meaning studying in college) with no illness and I am just a college dropout living at home with parents.😞 Though I will join college again but after my antidepressants stop as my dad said. I do hope it comes soon.✌🏻

[RottieFlood37 in reply to guitaristepiphone]

I’m not sure being ahead in life is something we should be comparing ourselves or situations to. A conversation yesterday reminded me of this.

Everyone is carrying something. When I think about all the people I know, every single one of them is struggling with something. Maybe they don’t have the exact same challenges as me but there is something they aren’t owning and working on. At least we’re acknowledging that something needs to change. Our challenge is figuring out what changes and when to implement them.

Not to say that you won’t stop antidepressants but I’ve learned that I need medication to regulate my mood daily. If I do not take it, my symptoms worsen severely within just 24 hours or so. It’s OK to depend on medication. Our mental health is a result of something imbalanced in our brains that is out of our control.

[Hidden]

I've been struggling since I was 13 when my dad went to prison the first time, my mom is an alcoholic that only cares about the boyfriend of the year. life seems to just pour for me around every corner I've tried medication I've tried therapy nothing worked. I'm 25 now about to get married and I still have no idea who I am or what I'm doing in life, I fail every day, but I tell myself I have to get up and just do the next right thing even if it breaks me I do what I can for people around me, so they don't ever feel the pain or loneliness I feel every day. I have depression and anxiety those two don't mix well together. I get in my head every day. Have you tried making a playlist for every mood, I did and honestly that's what works for me the best, a good pair of headphones and music just blasting being able to disappear into the words distract me just enough to get through the day. IDK if this will help but I hope this finds you, and you give it a shot.

[guitaristepiphone in reply to Hidden]

Sorry to hear that you also stuggle from a young age. Your story inspired me a lot. If you can do it with that much pain, why can't I? Lemme try to make a playlist on spotify that does sound a good idea. Thank you!!! Hidden

[Hidden in reply to guitaristepiphone]

I even have a playlist called lonely girl for those days I need a good cry just to get all the emotions out. let me know if it works for you also reach out if you need anything I'm sure we can relate on a lot.

[guitaristepiphone in reply to Hidden]

Yes, Sure! Thank you!!!!!😀