I can't do it

[97Bunny11]

I feel like I can't do it anymore. Not living, but just trying. I'm currently studying graphic design, but I'm doing it on my own. I'm taking Coursera courses and sporadically watching videos on YouTube to help (Can't afford college) I'm also doing projects to help build my portfolio, but I feel this overwhelming sense of hopelessness. Like, I should give up. Growing up, I had always wanted to work from home like this, but I feel like I have wasted so much time procrastinating in the past few months that I feel like I'll never be where I want to be now. I'm trying my hardest more than I had before, but it's like there's some voice telling "Why are you even trying? You've already wasted so much time. You'll never get a job now." I wanna cry. As dumb as that sounds. I'm 26, still living with my parent, no license (I was scared to get one for years. Now I'm finally ready to take Driver's Ed, but we can't afford it right now), and although I'm trying my best here, and maybe this is just me being impatient, I feel like this graphic design thing is just a distant dream for me. I'm so used to having a definite endpoint. In middle school, I knew when middle school would end, and I knew when I would change to high school. I always knew "OK, this date is the school dance. And after that, this date is graduation." And after that, I would still have endpoints, or goals to be more exact: "This date is this test. This date is that test. And on this date, I'm graduating. That date I'm starting a new job. This date I'm leaving that job. This date I'm going here and there" and so on. I always knew. Now, I truly don't know where I'm heading in life and I'm scared. I don't know when I'm gonna get a job in this field. I don't know if I'll ever get a job in this field. I don't know if I'll ever be able to move out or if I'll stay in this town forever. I don't know. I like knowing. Knowing gives me stability and safety.

This post took a turn I wasn't expecting. My bad.

Anyway, that's what's going on in my head today. I'm just feeling doubtful about this career choice and my future in general right now..... I think I'm having a quarter-life crisis..... Nice...

Thanks for reading

[CLB1125]

I understand your frustration. I’m not familiar with the courses you mentioned. But ask yourself will quitting now make you happy? Will it give you relief or sadness? If you quit now the what ifs may nag you forever. What do you have to lose by going forward? You are young, if it doesn’t work out at least you can say I tried now I know. Knowledge is never wasted. Good luck!

[Agora1]

Hi 97Bunny11, Start with changing the thought from "Can't" to "Can"....

Remember this quote "Where our thoughts go, our life goes"

Good Luck with following your dreams. xx

[LadyZen]

It sounds like you want to go to school? Have you tried to get some school counseling at your local community college? I would start there.