Up and down, up and down: Today I got... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Up and down, up and down

Kat63 profile image
8 Replies

Today I got so anxious I cried in the car all the way to work.

Luckily, I keep some anxiety meds with me at all times, so I took one. And I reached out to my doctor. My meds check has been moved up to this Friday (two weeks sooner than originally planned.)

I just want to stop feeling this way. It’s always worst in the mornings.

I also tried to give myself some positive self-talk—telling myself “Feelings aren’t facts,” and remembering times in the past when I felt terrible—but it didn’t last forever and there were good times later on.

I hope there are good things for me in the future. At almost 60, I wonder if I’ve had all the good things that life had to give me. Has my luck run out? Has God gotten fed up with me and won’t help me anymore?

Yesterday was fairly good, but today the anxiety is the worst it’s been in months, maybe a year or two.

Thank god I was able to reach my doctor.

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Kat63 profile image
Kat63
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8 Replies

Oh honey I am so sorry to hear you are having such a struggle today. SO glad you were able to that appointment moved up. Your positive talk is a wonderful - I need to utilize that more myself. But I digress back to you, No I do not think God is fed up with you, nor do I believe all your good times have already been had. Life has a way or surprising us when we least expect it and all those trite saying we've all heard like it's darkest before the dawn are saying for a reason... Reflecting on the times past when you felt low and got to the other side I think is a great tool as well. You reached out today and you were heard, your doing the best you can and that is enough.

Kat63 profile image
Kat63 in reply to Complicatedhappiness

Thank you.

Work did that to me.I listened to Kenna, singing the song, "hellbent" on the drive to work helped me get in the right frame of mind to put up with the unfair assessment of my character.

I had a lot of driving autistic kids to their programs and classes, Tycho techo music helped us with that. Do what brings you joy.

bonkers65 profile image
bonkers65

Just remember yesterday was fairly good.

SayNOtoPanic profile image
SayNOtoPanic

Oh many so sorry you dealt with this Kat. And let me tell you that you are not alone. I shared something similar a few weeks back and just had an emotional drive. Angry at anxiety and angry at what it does. The horrid fear. Just take some deep breaths and say this too shall pass in your mind. Breath in tranquility exhale the fear and anxiousness. You got this. Big hugs.

Madigansmom profile image
Madigansmom

I feel your worry and pain. I wish there was an explanation for "unprovoked" crying and those feelings of angst. I experience the same so very often. You are doing what you're "supposed to" in positive self-talk, taking meds to help, and seeking Dr support. Keep plugging away. Your awareness and resilience are commendable assets. Body chemistry, biology are to blame...which is difficult to correct. Keep up the good work. Godspeed.

Kinlay profile image
Kinlay

I am SO sorry! It sounds to me like in addition to anxiety you are dealing with depression - make sure you share your feelings with your doctor. There is a lot of life ahead of you, so don't count yourself out. Focus on the things you enjoy now, even if they are little things. Living in the moment can really help with anxiety and depression. And if you don't feel like you have any of these little things, find some. For me, it's my pets, a good cup of tea, a nice glass of wine, time outside in nature, a warm bed at night... I go to the list whenever I start struggling to remind myself that mixed in with the daily stress are moments worth savoring - and repeating! Hang in there.

kbrauer profile image
kbrauer

Good morning,

By all means, No, God has not run out on you! :)

In fact the very opposite, He is right there waiting for you! :)

Sometimes we get caught up in things of this poor old world that we have forgotten what has happened to our relationship with Him, and we struggle to get back because so much has happened in between us and we don't know how to get back to Him. When all we have to do is call back out for Him to come and ask Him for his stretched out hand to help us return back to Him.

To find the peace and stillness amongst the storms of life. I like to listen to music when I need lifted up and feel anxiety or stress in my life. Here are a few that I enjoy listening to:

No Longer Slaves by Johnathan David and Melissa Helser

Who Am I by Casting Crowns

Broken Vessels ( Amazing Grace) by Hillsong

It Is Well You Make Me Brave by Kristene DiMarco

Whom Shall I Fear ( God Of Angel Armies) by Chris Tomlin

Amazing Grace by Allan Jackson

Amazing Grace ( My Chains Are Gone) by Chris Tomlin

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