Blank

[PeaceNeed]

No help. Im old alone and head sick. 3 days no good sleep.. i wish i was gone. Im 64 ive lived too long. This world sucks. I want cancer.....killer heart attack...stroke anything....

[PeaceNeed]

Im in very bad shape today. Zorry to be bother

[litethatnevergoesout]

would be nice if the the lock option worked the other way around, that by default it is automatically locked with the option to unlock it.

[SayNOtoPanic]

Prayers to you. Hang in there. Try to distract yourself with good shows or just a walk or doing some deep breathing. Lifting you in prayer.

[CLB1125]

I feel the same way sometimes but I guess we’re stuck here until it’s our time to go. Im a coward I guess I just want to fall asleep and not wake up. Have you discussed not sleeping with your doctor? It’s 2:48 am as I write this. I don’t remember what a good nights sleep is. It really does affect our quality of life. But I’m glad you’re here with us.

[PeaceNeed in reply to CLB1125]

I have a mentally ill neighbor living above me who stays up late at nite.No one officially seems to be able to help me. I terrified for my future.

[PeaceNeed in reply to CLB1125]

The docs gave me toxic cocktale of drugs to make me sleep. They just ruined my digestive health.

[Trainchaser]

I am getting set to turn 64 soon and can relate to some of your post. With all my mental illness never thought I would see 50. State of the world sucks. Politics in our country sucks more. I to make unhealthy decisions like not eating right as I am diabetic. At one point wished I would have a fatal heart attack. Being alone sucks. Maybe we can be on line friends. Rick

[SayNOtoPanic in reply to Trainchaser]

Bless your heart. You’re a warrior. 🙏🏻

[PeaceNeed in reply to Trainchaser]

Rick Im open to a chat.

[Trainchaser in reply to PeaceNeed]

Ok how do you do a private chat in here? Technically dumb

[PeaceNeed in reply to Trainchaser]

There is chat option listed in your feed. I'll try it.

[catsrock]

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I hope you are doing better today. Let us know.

[Danni54]

I am so sorry that you feel so bad. All of us here have had black day's and the last 6 year's for me have been horrendous physically and so mentally. Please don't give up. You will find that people on this forum understand, completely, what you are going through and we are all here for you and for each other so there are good people in the world. Sending big hugs.

[Nothing_but_books]

youtube.com/watch?v=qFDHwCx...(Not working as expected?)

[SayNOtoPanic]

What a beautiful message Ifallis. Bless your heart 🙏🏻. Thx for sharing that link too. I appreciate it and hope Lonepain checks it out as well.

[SayNOtoPanic]

God bless you too 🙏🏻

[Audiomarc1]

Lonepain. I'm 64 as well. I have so many days that I feel that way. But, what keeps me alive is that chance for happiness. You just can't give up hope. Give it a shot, what do you have to lose.

[PeaceNeed in reply to Audiomarc1]

Life problems wore me down. I would like to hope for better future.

[Weatherwoman]

I can relate, too. Am older than all of you on this post! These last three years have been & continue to be horrendous for me, also. Lost my Sig. Other last Nov., then lost the house, then had to move in with toxic relatives. Cummulative Stress has wrecked havoc with health issues (physical & mental). What keeps me going are these rays of hope --I am, in the process, of trying to find affordable housing & keep trying. I see that how brave & courgeous all of us are. It's NOT easy --I feel as you do many times during the day. But, as the saying goes, "nothing is permanent except change," and let's pray for Good changes for All of us.

[PeaceNeed in reply to Weatherwoman]

All i do these days is fillnout applications for housing. I lost out on apartment because some beauracrat didnt like my paperwork.My health has taken a nose dive. My relatives have own lives and dont want me around.

[Weatherwoman in reply to PeaceNeed]

I know how you feel re. those housing applications. It's like looking for a job & takes up So much of your time. I have an interview next week for a possible studio apt. which is Very small & only a kitchenette, but Praying for anything which is Clean & decent. I can't keep staying with these "toxic" relatives that are So bad for my physical & mental health. Have other relatives, too, that have their own lives & no time for me! I don't think my relatives (some of them) want me around either. I know that I come across as negative too much of the time, but heck if they lost their "person" who had been with them for 27 years, then lost their house, then had to move in with "toxic" people plus had Long time Anxiety/Depression they might come across as Negative, too! I guess, it's NOT OK to be NOT Okay! So, I wear that "mask" so I don't come across as negative, and then I am quiet & have Nothing to say & probably come across as a BORE! Can't win!

[PeaceNeed in reply to Weatherwoman]

I should have started with this. You have my condolances for your the lose of loved one.Thank u for responding. I live in nyc. I see how hard it is to find housing everyday in the streets

[Weatherwoman in reply to PeaceNeed]

It's OK, I understand. Thank you for condolances. It truly breaks my heart that people have to live in the Streets! That is a Horror & a Tragedy of this 21st Century!

[PeaceNeed in reply to Weatherwoman]

I hope u get that studio. I almost had one but the company that processes section 8 applications screwed me over. I tried to claim disability status using my psych illness mistake I think.

[Weatherwoman in reply to PeaceNeed]

Sorry that you got "screwed over" not getting the studio. I don't think it's a good idea to mention a psych illness as it's None of their business & the Rotten Stigma still exists --wonder if it (stigma) will ever go away! I have to fly to another state for this interview!!! I asked if I could do the interview on Zoom as told the manager that I was now in another state, and she said, "NO" that I need to see the apt. So, I will be staying with a friend for a couple of days. The trip will cost me over $400.00 (air fare, Uber, etc.), and it's a hardship physically & mentally, too! There is just So little caring, or understanding of people in this world. I know that there are kind & caring people, but far too little of that (people who think & care of others)!

[CLB1125]

you probably have already tried something like this but wearing noise canceling headphones when you rest? Or earbuds with white noise? Just don’t use something like spotify that has commercials! I did that, I was dozing off and bam! Commercial scared the 💩 out of me!!

Hope you are having a better day

[PeaceNeed in reply to CLB1125]

Ive used all means i could buy to drawn out noise short of making myself deaf. There is also the noise of negativity that goes on inside of me.I remember every bad experience of my life especially the last six years.

Im scared of death, but right now i would welcome it.

[CLB1125 in reply to PeaceNeed]

I relate to fearing death but yet welcoming it. I wish I could help you

[Hidden]

youtu.be/uAveTGR93Lk?si=p4o...(Not working as expected?)

[Downinil]

There are people on this site who need to know you are going to work on feeling better. You aren’t completely alone here.

[PeaceNeed in reply to Downinil]

Hard to do....for me....im living in hellish circumstances....slum lord bldg...unsafe neighb....nys supported housing provider more interested in state money than providing help. . Harrasment from all sides that wore me down so much that now...I just want......gone.

[Weatherwoman in reply to PeaceNeed]

I know that Worn Down Feeling. Just keep HOPE Alive --things change, they always do --

[PeaceNeed in reply to Weatherwoman]

Thats what terrifys me. All the changes of the last six yrs have made my life situation worse. No one wants to be around a crazy negative old man.

[Weatherwoman in reply to PeaceNeed]

At 64, You are NOT an Old Man! I am in my late, late seventies so to me you are a middle aged Man! Change can be Anxiety provoking, and also it can be "just what the doctor ordered!" I have had SO many changes these past three years, and not for the good, but, I still keep hoping for some good changes. I am Trying, keep trying to get a Stable Living Situation & working towards that!

[PeaceNeed in reply to Weatherwoman]

In New York not easily done. Having a disability is supposed to give u a preference in housing. I think it has to be a physical one. Mental illness is like leprosy to building managers.

[Weatherwoman in reply to PeaceNeed]

I reread your post after I posted mine yesterday, and Do understand why you stated you had a disability. However, I do believe that any physical disability would have been okay to state, but like you said, "Mental Illness is like leprosy to building managers. I agree --This is a Crying Shame!