What to do?

[Downinil]

When you feel that you have no purpose, no structure in in your days? When you aren’t all alone but feel that you are. We really are all alone, all of us. We are the captain of our ship but at times don’t have a map of the seas.

[Worrier1960]

I have this problem. I retired from business with 14 hour days to a teaching job less than half that. I exercise more. I ski more. I do more around the house. I plan on joining clubs.

[blackcat64013]

Hi Downinil,

Thanks for your post which highlights the importance of managing our life to live the best life we can when struggling with our mental health.

I learned in therapy that if you don't have a life map, create one that you can refer to and is useful to you i.e. designed by you for you.

My practice is work out a map for the upcoming week on Sunday night.

My map is really a skeleton schedule for my self-care activities, My starting point is regular wake up and bed times. Then I plot any appointments occuring during the week with travel time either side. Next, I program in 3 meal times in 60 minute blocks to allow for preparation and cleaning up. I have to remind myself to catch up with family and friends, turn off my devices 2 hours before bed and to journal my gratitude for the day just past (I try to look for 3 things). There are more than a 100 other things you can do to fill in the rest of the time - Dr Google helps with ideas "self care+depression".

I admit creating a map seemed a strange idea at first but when depression becomes your enemy to even an OK life, the map is essential. I did mine with the help of a therapist otherwise, left to my own devices, I probably wouldn't have made it. Depression would have made it almost impossible.

Hoping this helps somewhat.

[litethatnevergoesout]

yeah that sums it up. find support

[Downinil]

Thank you for the support and suggestions. I’ll tell my therapist when I talk to her next time. This is so important.

[Ellamaye]

Well said

[HopeforMiami]

I can relate to that feeling, it's a hard place to be. What I do is distract myself in whatever way I can. It's like what you do with grief: you keep busy, read, watch a movie, go for a walk, whatever you can, and observe closely and let yourself be caught up in a moment. We have to live moment by moment.And yes, we are alone, but like I read somewhere, we're all alone together.

Do something nice for yourself, you deserve it. ♥️🙏

[elaine2447]

I can relate to that having been dumped by my only daughter now I am no long needed. I have re-done my Will, set up a Trust Fund for my little grandson, appointed a power of attorney and paid for a basic cremation.

[elaine2447]

I'm really glad you were able to get back together. For my daughter and I it is too late . I did have the best first five years with my sweet grandson and in fact joined up about 30 little videos and made a dvd for him when he's older. I think I brought it on myself by overindulging her when he dad died just before he 4th birthday to compensate. I paid for their flat for 15 months to help them but that is forgotten along with all the other money. Now Bank of mum has closed.

[Downinil]

I’m listening now. Thank you.